Tag: Thinking

Size matters

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I was just wondering how big the UK is relative to the USA. Turns out according to Google it’s 40 times smaller than the USA! (also 32 times smaller than Australia).

We can drive across the country in a day. I could drive for maybe two or three days North to South John O’groats to Lands end, although it has been done much faster. The direct distance is 603 miles, but the road distance is 837 miles. So driving over the limit at 83.7 mph you could drive it in ten hours. But if you drove at just 40mph you could do it in less than 24 hours!

Goodness knows how long it would take to drive across America and I guess it also depends where on the coasts you drive from. America is wider in the north than in the south?

Compassion

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What’s the trait you value most about yourself?

I think its important to care about people. It means a lot to me. Empathy is important too. Trying to understand where people come from. Sometimes people are hard to get, they don’t make sense. But I still think you have to care.

Compassion is key to that, seeing the problems people are suffering and trying to get to the bottom of why it’s happening. Not blaming them for how their lives are turning out.

I know I cannot aways help people. It’s so hard to explain what I mean. But if you put yourself in their shoes at least there is a chance you can understand their motivations.

I hate rhetoric that describes people in a bad way and that creates a feeling of us and them. It is just a way to divide and conquer. In the modern world there seems to be such a blame culture, where compassionate thoughts could make things better for everyone?

I know I’m an idealist and most readers will find my thoughts wishy washy and weak. But it’s ingrained into me. I make no apologies for it.

Poison words

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What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

I used to be hurt when people said things to me to upset me. I would take on board what they said, and it could lead to several sleepless nights, or mistrusting my judgement or feelings.

After a few years of this I talked to a new friend who explained a way of getting through or over the uncaring words.

What they said was imagine the nasty words are poison. The words are absorbed by the victim (in this case me) and the poison works it’s way into the mind of the person they want to hurt. This affects that person’s confidence, thoughts, security.

But in the meantime the person doing the poisoning walks away scot free. With no effect on them, able to go and place poison elsewhere, spreading their cruelty and getting a rise out of others.

The trick is to realise what they are doing and train yourself to ignore their jibes. Inoculate your mind against their poison and learn to stop their tricks before they can get to you. It really does help.

Love and friendship

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What things give you energy?

I’m trying to be honest with this post, I am honest when I blog but I don’t express my emotions here very much. What I will say is that when I’m down I get energy from love and friendship from family and friends. But what I don’t do is seek out those people when I feel sad. I guess I don’t like dragging others down with me. I hide away from them and instead of getting healing energy I feel lower moods.

But when I allow people to know what’s going on, I think I get positive energy from them. Which can lift my mood. It’s just finding a balance, it’s hard to do that.

I think I also get energy from doing art. It increases my enthusiasm to do more. It makes me feel free and able to use my imagination. I get a lot more energy from Art when family and friends enjoy what I do, in that way I know what I’m doing is possibly worthwhile. One thing I do have is imposter syndrome which means I feel like I question my validity a lot. Perhaps that’s why I blog.

Today is….

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So, we have equal amounts of day and night today according to this.

Days will get shorter than nights until the Winter Solstice around the 21st of December 2023, then lengthen again. In the Southern Hemisphere the days will get longer until their Summer Solstice.

I don’t like the lack of sunlight and the change from British Summer time to Greenwich Mean time also gets to me. We lose an hour of evening daylight in October, although we get lighter mornings. But studies in the 1960’s or 1970’s showed that overall there were less accidents when they kept British Summertime for three years. Sadly the change was abandoned.

Maybe we could revisit the idea? Saving an hours electricity in the winter evenings might even help the environment?

I’m a follower

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Do you see yourself as a leader?

You’ll find me at the back of a crowd. My legs are little and I can’t keep up with big people’s strides. I’ve never been a leader, I think my imposter syndrome stops me thinking I could be! I’ve never been massively confident and I always question my abilities, plus to be a leader you have to have charisma and I not sure I do.

A leader seems to have overwhelming faith in themselves and I don’t know if I could do that, it almost feels like leaders fool themselves into it. Or are bought up to be important and think they are the best.

I guess my view is quite negative, but considering how politicians act and deceive to get power then it must be understandable. Clearly there are other types of leader, religious, royal, a head of a company for instance, I’m sure there is good amongst them, but there also appears to be a ruthless streak. Maybe it’s from childhood sibling rivalry, or being an only child.

Finally would I like to be a leader? Maybe I could do it, I’ve chaired meetings in the past, but honestly? I’m old enough not to relish it.

Selfishness

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What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?

Some people are selfish. I think its a bad trait. I don’t understand it. Why do they think it’s OK? I trying to get into their mindset. They might not have much themselves, so they have to scrimp and save. But others in the same situation might be more generous, partly because they have been bought up to share. I think children can struggle if there is not enough to go round, so they try and keep what they can to themselves…

Selfishness blankets a feeling of empathy. Stifles understanding other peoples needs. Gives an excuse not to be considerate. Selfishness, taken to extremes stops any thought of less well off people, making excuses when it’s obvious that help is needed. On today’s parlance scrolling past charities and blaming the poor for their situation, calling them undeserving.

Selfishness is unfair and can be cruel, uncaring and without merit.

I try and meditate

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How do you relax?

I try to meditate at yoga, but I often lose the imagery and fall asleep instead! Somehow the words of different visualisations deeply relax me. Luckily I’ve never had to be woken up, and usually I wake up as soon as the teacher tells us to bring some movement back to our bodies.

I was also given advice about using the word ‘the’ to take your mind off your worries. Basically thinking the word ‘the’ over and over has no context, you can’t attach other ideas onto it. So as I say you lose the worries and you can relax.

Closing borders?

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Someone put a status on Facebook that the UK should close it’s borders to illegal migrants. I think this is racist and replied:

Who says illegal? Our government. But these people are humans, poor, frightened, children, women, men. We have closed legal entry options, we made them illegal. British people are a mixture of flemish, anglo saxon, celts, French, Italian, west Indian, African, Chinese, Japanese, Turkish, Iranian, Indian, Pakistani, Vietnamese and many other citizens of different cultures and countries. We accepted the transported children who were evacuated from nazi germany. Now we are acting like Hitler Germany. Divide and conquer. Blame incomers for all our ills. Meanwhile Brexit is a fiasco, we have become meaner and more selfish as our freedoms have been curtailed. Sorry but pulling up the drawbridge and sticking our fingers in our ears and singing nah nah na nah na does not help!

People in these situations should be called Refugees, that’s why they are seeking asylum

I don’t

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Are you holding a grudge? About?

I don’t hold a grudge, it’s too painful, and it makes no sense. If you hold a grudge who are you harming? Yourself. Painful thoughts about someone else don’t harm them, they don’t know about it, but the worm of a grudge bores inside you and makes poison in your thoughts and harms your moods.

Oh I have held grudges before now, and for a long time, but I have it up as a bad idea. Don’t hold grudges, it’s not worth it.