Greif

Posted on October 18, 2019October 18, 2019 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Blog, Grief, Life, Memories, Sad, Tears, Thinking2 Comments

I just unlocked some grief, from long ago. It was hidden deep, the reason why I don’t buy many clothes and shoes for myself.

Why I feel guilt, and hurt, sad to be left behindy by my dad.

Father died and we had nothing but his bequest to buy clothes for his funeral. That set up the guilt, Mom needed the money more than us. But she insisted, we had to be smart. Look nice. To choose our own outfits. I think that has always stayed with me. Grief and guilt mixed into a behaviour. Still sad now all these years later.

Soft toys

Posted on October 5, 2019 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Blogging, Collecting, Hoarding, Life, Memories, Mental health2 Comments

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I seem to have collected a lot of these over the years. There’s a cat, two owls and a reindeer at least. I was given a couple of them and bought a few more. I like cute things, although I do wonder whether collecting them is sensible. Humans have a tendency to feel attached to inanimate objects. Like children love their toys, I guess adults love ornaments and objects. Sometimes this leads to hoarding, other times if the person is rich it might lead to collections of fine art. I think these could be described as two sides of the same coin. Both are ways of giving you pleasure, a good feeling each time you buy something, or hold it. But that feeling and impulse to buy can be an addiction. Or just holding onto belongings from a parent. Even a crisp packet that a good friend has eaten out of can have significance. So much so that it cannot be disposed of. Collection and hoarding are not so different…..

Al**a play Blondie, Atomic

Posted on September 10, 2019 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Computer, Favourite tunes, Fun, Memories, Poem, Poetry, Short poem, TechnologyLeave a comment

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Al**a play this

Al**a play that,

Al**a lower volume

Favorite tunes

Let’s dance!

Play music

Jump around

Remembering the 80’s

Having fun

How we danced

Remembering a life

Now gone…

Rain

Posted on September 3, 2019 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Blogging, Cold, Environment, Life, Memories, Rain, Temporate, Water, Weather, WetLeave a comment

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The rain comes down harder and faster these days. When I was a child I remember gentle rain, now it seems to soak in seconds. Water has a way of getting into everything when it falls. Like a cold shower it wakes you up, startling you as it splashes in your face. It was once said that there is no bad weather, just being inappropriately dressed for it. Nowadays I’m not so sure.

Northern Soul

Posted on August 24, 2019August 24, 2019 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Dance, Dancing, Four four time, Fun, Jigging, Learning, Memories, Music, Northern soulLeave a comment

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To save my blushes I’ve drawn over a photo my friend took of me today.

After we had sung with the combined choir there was a brief break and then a woman got up and did a quick dance lesson to teach us Northern soul dance steps. The music is in four four time, so she taught us four steps, stand on your left leg, tap your right foot behind, to the side of and in front of your left foot, then put your right foot down about shoulder width away from your left foot. Then putting your weight in your right leg repeat the moves using your left foot. After we learned to do that and danced for a while to a northern soul tune she added a jump, then jump and cross your legs spin round, clap, and carry on doing the side to side step.

I was jigging along with the rest of the crowd. I loved Northern Soul when I was a teenager.

The only problem? My knees are aching now.

Home

Posted on August 7, 2019August 7, 2019 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Home, Homesick, Lost, Memories, Pain, Poem, Poetry, Sad, Sorrow, TimeLeave a comment

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Sometimes I want to go home.

Not this house, home,

But the one I grew up in.

The family home and hearth.

The place I knew so well

It’s nooks and crannys

The garden and the tree I climbed.

The old swing and the rockery.

Doors I shut forty years ago

Creak open in my mind.

I wish I could shut my eyes and go.

See our old pets, the roses by the back door.

Dad’s motorbike, mom’s hair in rollers.

Little memories make me homesick.

I would drive there now at 2am

But a new family live there.

I feel lost.

I wish…

I miss

Home.

Homesick

Posted on July 5, 2019July 5, 2019 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Google maps, Home, Homesick, Life, Map, Memories, Moving on, Sad, ViewLeave a comment

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I moved away from home 40 years ago. I was going to college and I got in to the polytechnic I attended. I completed my qualification and met my partner who became my hubby. We stayed here and although I went “home” for visits I never went back to the town I was born in properly, I mean permanently.

That was OK, but then my parent died and my sister who had lived there all her life decided to move away to another town. Now when I feel homesick I can’t drive there. It would be too odd to park outside. Would the new owners be aware I was there? Would it seem like stalking? I dont think I could do it. But what I do sometimes do is look on Google maps. I used to use the figure Icon and look at the house as if I was in the street. Obviously it’s not photographed every year but I noted changes in the drive and trees that have been removed. Now Google maps only shows me a view from the air. I used to use the roadside version so I could pretend to drive home. At least I have good memories but I do miss my old Home. X

Enamel kiln

Posted on July 2, 2019July 2, 2019 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Black Country museum, Cheshire, Dudley, Gladstone Pottery, Industrial archaeology, Industrial heritage, Longton, Memories, Middlewich, Staffordshire, Stoke-on trent, West MidlandsLeave a comment

Enamel kiln at Gladstone pottery museum, Longton, Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire. These burn hotter than a normal pottery kiln. This is to create enamel from powdered glass, fired about 1400°C. There is a working enamel kiln at Stevensons in Middlewich on the banks of the Trent and Mersey canal. Enamels are used from jewellery to bathroom ware. This is because it has to be stronger and not chip or crack.

The industrial heritage of this country is hanging on. Places like the Black Country museum in Dudley in the West Midlands give us a place to see how the past was. Manufacturing changes and evolves. Soon robots and AI might be the only way things are made. But despite the old dirty polluting past may have been bad, it still stirs memories and romantic ideas of the way things were.

Shouting

Posted on June 21, 2019 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Life, Memories, Noise, People, Remembrance, Sad, Short blog, ShoutingLeave a comment

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It’s dark outside, in two minutes it will be the longest day of the year. In one minute……

There’s shouting outside, raucous farewells from the pub we live near to. A car revvs loudly in the night, then screeches of up the hill. A woman screams with laughter, so loud it sounds like distress but it turns into a loud giggle.

The longest day has arrived, well actually it did an hour ago. But because we are now in British summertime, our 1am is 12 (midnight) in the rest of the timezone we are in.

The noises have faded. Perhaps they have gone home. Taking their fag ends with them I hope. That is something that really annoys me since the smoking ban. People smoke outside and then discard the cigarette butt’s.

Someone is walking past, heavy shoes Thudding on the pavement outside like a rushing heart beat.

I’d better get some sleep, today, now, is a sad day, a relative passed away a few years ago and I remember it being the 21st of June, the longest day. My memories are stirred every year at thus time.

Thanks to Martha I can post again.

Posted on June 9, 2019 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Art, Blog, Blogging, Computer, Deleting, Learning, Life, Memories, Photos, Thank you, WordPress2 Comments

I managed to delete photos from my WordPress account so I can now post new ones. Thanks to my friend for helping and explaining how to do it.

I deleted over 10%, so if you look back at some of my old posts there may not be images to accompany them. At least it means I can avoid upgrading my account and also save a bit of money.

So… Posts and more posts to come

Mallaband-Brown

Tag: Memories