A long day

Posted on December 19, 2023 Posted in Memories, UncategorizedTagged Candle, Family, Friends, Grief, Memorial, Memories, Sad, the railway children, Time6 Comments

I woke at 5.30am, unable to sleep, I was enveloped in waves of heat and cold from the covid virus. I couldn’t decide whether to snuggle under the duvet or throw it off. I lay listening to the news on the radio.

Just after 8am I came downstairs. I took my medication and prepared to light a candle for my hubby. Today was the day he would be cremated but circumstances meant I could not go to a funeral. Life isn’t always fair. Many friends and family had promised to light candles for him too and I spent an hour in calm and quiet peace thinking about my loss and contacting people who had left messages and thoughts on social media. What a strange way of doing things these days.

After breakfast I wondered if I should take another covid test, but decided I will wait till tomorrow to see. What would be the point of just confirming I was still ill. I continued to get messages and contacted friends and family.

I’ve cried and cried today. Little things like stories of people going through similar circumstances touched my heart. A film which was one of my hubbys favourites was on the TV. ‘The railway children’ is a sweet film and when it reached the end I started crying all over again.

Sleeping has helped this afternoon. I decided to ignore the fuel bills and have the heating on today. I was so tired at one point that my sandwich I’d made for tea slid off the plate and spilt all over the floor. I was not happy with myself.

I know these posts are not nice. I guess I’m just trying to document how I feel. If I explain perhaps it could help someone else? I don’t know.

Sometimes

Posted on November 22, 2023 Posted in Memories, UncategorizedTagged dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2127, Friends, instinct, Memories, Premonition, Stormy, Thunder2 Comments

Do you trust your instincts?

I’m rather wary of instincts, I have been known to trust people even when it has not been earned. Or distrust people who turned out to be the nicest and kindest people that I’d ever met before. But it’s not a regular problem, mostly my instincts aren’t too bad. And sometimes I know instinctively what’s going to happen. I don’t claim to have premonitions, but maybe I observe more subconsciously than I realise. So when something happens I feel vindicated.

But there was the one very odd incident. I dreamt of meeting old friends I hadn’t seen for years in the middle of a thunderstorm. Then a few days later we were cycling out to our friends when we met them and our old friends cycling the other way. That was strange enough, but the clouds were building up and the thunderstorm arrived! We had to take cover in a bus shelter. My dream actually came true! So maybe my instincts should be trusted. X

Brothers?

Posted on November 19, 2023November 19, 2023 Posted in Cat, UncategorizedTagged Black and white cat, Cat, Fat, Friends, Mat, not brothers, Playing, Poem, Poetry, Sleeping, Tuxedo cat3 Comments

You’d think they were brothers

A single mom?

But no, they are not

Two mums, not one.

Each boy cat is happy

One is fat

He’s big and he’s round

He stays on the mat,

The other is older

On a bag, flat!

My other cats female,

Much more aloof

She’d rather be sitting

Up on the roof!

Leaving home

Posted on November 4, 2023 Posted in Memories, UncategorizedTagged a year to remember, Cared for, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2109, flat share, Friends, Home, leaving home, Long ago, Memory, Politics, Remembered, Travel9 Comments

Is there an age or year of your life you would re-live?

Leaving home was a big shock. I was miles from home and very nervous. But now all these years later I would go back in an instant.

I met fantastic people, some of whom I have stayed friends with for years. I met my partner, I learned to manage my life and become a grown up. I realised my wish to be an artist, and that has never left me. I started to understand other people’s perspectives on life and how they did, and didn’t, manage.

To be honest, my whole understanding of life and politics changed completely when I left home. I had been protected and had a good life, with enough to eat, a safe place to live, and a caring family. Leaving the nest was hard, but as I moved into a shared flat, the resulting change wasn’t too drastic.

Meeting new people, with different ideas to mine was an eye opener. I don’t think I really appreciated how strange and mad the world was till then. I feel like I didn’t really exist till I moved out of home.

Travelling home was not easy, being away from family was hard. But I made a success of it. I wish I could go back though, just for the enjoyment and knowledge I absorbed. I would not want to be me now, all those years ago. I would want to experience it all fresh and new. But then yes, I’d come back to my current life, renewed.

A lot of people

Posted on October 12, 2023 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Consideration, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2087, Family, Friends, Helping, Money, Thinking, Time7 Comments

If you had a million dollars to give away, who would you give it to?

I’ve actually thought this through. I would give some to family and friends, it turns out you can gift someone £3000 without having to pay tax. But I would give more than that and gladly pay it. Then I would think of acquaintances to help. I would try and share a reasonable amount. Having done that I would buy a small house and garden, a bit bigger than mine now, but not huge. Enough to neatly fit paintings and books with a warm studio with plenty of light to paint and draw in. A natural garden with pond. It would not be too far away from family and friends. Obviously the cats come along too.

I would have to ensure I could pay all my bills each year.

Finally I would try and donate to charity… I would have to support local as well as national charities.

Love and friendship

Posted on September 23, 2023 Posted in Memories, UncategorizedTagged Art, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2068, Energy, Family, Friends, Life, Negative, Positive, Thinking, Trying to understand4 Comments

What things give you energy?

I’m trying to be honest with this post, I am honest when I blog but I don’t express my emotions here very much. What I will say is that when I’m down I get energy from love and friendship from family and friends. But what I don’t do is seek out those people when I feel sad. I guess I don’t like dragging others down with me. I hide away from them and instead of getting healing energy I feel lower moods.

But when I allow people to know what’s going on, I think I get positive energy from them. Which can lift my mood. It’s just finding a balance, it’s hard to do that.

I think I also get energy from doing art. It increases my enthusiasm to do more. It makes me feel free and able to use my imagination. I get a lot more energy from Art when family and friends enjoy what I do, in that way I know what I’m doing is possibly worthwhile. One thing I do have is imposter syndrome which means I feel like I question my validity a lot. Perhaps that’s why I blog.

Kitty

Posted on August 9, 2023 Posted in Cat, Memories, UncategorizedTagged Black and white cat, Cat, Friends, Life, Loving, Miaow, Sleeping, Sweet, Tuxedo cat, WhistleLeave a comment

Kitty likes curling up by the sofa. Right where I walk to get into the kitchen! He turns over and miaows at me when I approach him. Delighted that I’m saying hello. Then proceeds to get underfoot, as I walk slowly behind him. Sometimes he tries to rub against my ankles, which could be deadly to him as I’m still using crutches and am quite unbalanced. Then he jumps up on to the kitchen cupboard miaowing for a tasty treat or to run his head against my hands. He’s a lovely, medium sized cat. No malice, mainly living indoors although he does pop outside sometimes. His one trick is not to come when I whistle him. He used to, but when we got the bigger boy rescue cat it seemed like it learnt to come to me when I whistled, but my old friend has decided to come over when he wants not when I call him unless treats are involved.

Afternoon views

Posted on July 30, 2023July 30, 2023 Posted in Fine Art, Sketching, UncategorizedTagged Art, Ford Green Hall, Friends, Life, Orme Art group, Painting, Watercolours, Work in progress2 Comments

A few views of where I set up to paint along side a family, gran, mother and daughter who were all painting. I really enjoyed the company. It’s good to be finally involved with other artists. We were at the top of the slope looking down at the Hall. Other people arrived and some went on to paint the lovely garden. I’ll post a few more photos later.

Lovely afternoon

Posted on July 23, 2023 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Cajun, Friends, Life, Memory, Music, skiffle, the boat band, Time, trombone, west-indies2 Comments

We went out for an afternoon at the local pub to see “the boat band” playing cajun, west-indies and skiffle music. We had a great time. Actually saw a lot of friends and really enjoyed the lively music.

I got upset when someone asked about my sister. I started to explain, then started to cry, so had to tell my friend that I couldn’t talk about it. I don’t like how to feel but they were very understanding.

What I really enjoyed was the trombone playing in “Just a closer walk with thee”, really uplifting and energetic. Singing and music has a good effect on me mentally. I’m glad we went. After years of seeing hardly anyone it’s shocking to think how much time and friendships have been lost.

Who to invite?

Posted on July 14, 2023 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Artists, Burslem, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-1997, Friends, Life, Old friends, People, Staffordshire, Stoke-on trent, The Leopard Hotel4 Comments

If you could host a dinner and anyone you invite was sure to come, who would you invite?

I would invite all my artist friends from over the years. Plus all my family. I would go to the Leopard Hotel in Burslem, Stoke-on-Trent. It would be fully restored (it was destroyed in a fire) and all my murals would still be there.

We would chat about the old days, and what they had been doing. Find out about where they had lived after I lost touch with them. I would lay on a good meal for them depending on what food they liked. I don’t remember what they used to eat? How could I after 40 years or more in some cases… But to know their life has gone well and hopefully they have been successful.

Who wouldn’t I invite? Famous people. I would be in awe and unable to talk. Can it be possible to meet someone who is important and speak with them at their level? I just don’t know.

Questions like this trouble my imagination. It’s wonderful to think of great people, but I would be too nervous and shy!

Mallaband-Brown

Tag: Friends