A soul cake at 4am…

A soul, a soul, a soul cake,

Please good missus, a soul cake…..

Endlessly ringing through my head. We were singing this minor key song this evening at choir and it’s turned into an ear worm….

When I went to bed a few hours ago I was determined not to be kept awake by intrusive thoughts. I was going to think of the word ‘the’ over and over again to keep my mind on the straight and narrow path to slumber. It almost worked, but the ‘the’s’ started to form into the Soul cake tune, and soon it took over.

It didn’t help that I’d gone to bed on an almost empty stomach, not feeling well, I’d decided just to eat a couple of sandwiches, and I was being kept awake by the feeling of hunger. I’ve come downstairs for something and ended up eating a tub of curried noodles.

Now I’m sitting in my armchair wondering what to do. I can hear traffic outside and the patter of rain on the ground by my front door, almost like the soft sound as a cat licks itself before settling down to sleep.

Maybe I’ll stay downstairs and hope that I can doze, or go back to bed and try and sleep with the radio murmuring softly. Insomnia is not my friend.

Soon it will be dawn again, things to do. But with the change of the clocks I always feel jet-lagged, unsettled, trying to find my comfortable place.

Maybe writing here, using my thoughts of other things will clip the earworm and stop the repetitive tune. I do hope so. Goodnight.

My first cat…

She never usually sat on dad’s lap, but this time she did. Such a loving little tortoise shell cat. I didn’t know then that this sort of fur colouration is mainly female…. I may be wrong. We had another cat too but I dint remember him well, I left home a few years later, and I missed them so much.

Of course when I stayed in student accommodation we weren’t allowed pets, but a year later we took in an old straggly cat that someone was going to have put to sleep. And after that I’ve always had cats… 11 in total… My friends.

Still worried

He’s on my knee at the moment, purring. I thought I was going to lose him last week but I’ve been trying to pursuade him to eat and this seems to be working. He’s gone from just a liquid diet to a few solids. Tonight he had a bit of white fish, then he ate some kibbles. Later he ate a bit of normal soft cat food and then some soft pate style food with a gravy on top. Now he’s had a few treats! He still has to have medication but it’s good to see him eating again x.

I didn’t post yesterday…

I forgot to post and now it’s 1.04am so I’ve lost my number of days of posting consistently. I have been busy looking after my cat and I went to choir practice. I then fell asleep and I only just woke up. I should really have gone to bed, but the armchair is comfortable and warm. Upstairs is a lot colder because I am trying to save on the energy bill. Anyway, boring post! Goodnight!

Worried about him

Stressed! My old cat went out while I was shopping, I realised he was not around and I’ve just been calling him for an hour. I left the back door wide open, I kept whistling, it cuts through traffic noise. I also put messages on WhatsApp and got lots of support – one person even offered to come to look for him, he is not eating much except cat soups and drinking a lot of water. It’s such a worrying time.

I thought he was in the garden but its very overgrown and if I went out looking for him I could easily fall over. BUT thank goodness… He’s back! I feel like the boy who cried wolf!