New paintings and regular art updates.
Heat seeking cat… I went to the bathroom and came back to this! He must have snuck in while I was downstairs. Made himself at home, comfy and warm and in my spot! It isn’t helping my insomnia, but he looks so cozy I don’t want to just kick him off! But I guess he will have to move or I will be relegated to my old armchair! He’s so sweet, he’s stretched out his paws and put them next to my hand… Now he’s rolled over to show his belly! Sweet, and cheeky cat!
It’s still cold and wet, the rain has been falling all day. We are expecting our fuel bill again soon, so I’m keeping warm by stopping in bed under the duvet in the morning. I’m fine there with a book or my phone. My hands get a bit cold but I could buy some thin gloves. It’s mad that things have got so expensive and at the same time the weather has stayed cold. But unlike the photo, blossom and leaves are starting to show as a green and white fuzz on the trees. The forecast is for a 10°C rise in temperature at the weekend, up to about 19°C. We will see…..
Time, delay, late, always late.
I can’t sleep due to insomnia. So when and if I do sleep I can’t always get up.
So I’m late, it takes me time to get ready, I have the best intentions, but by the time I’m sorted out its sometimes too late to get things done or go somewhere. I do hate it, thank goodness I don’t have early starts at work like I used to.
My car clock broke (I think its mechanical mechanism froze this winter), so I don’t rush to appointments any more, I’m not trying to beat the clock as it isn’t there. I have to try and work the time out by listening to the radio. If the shipping forecast is on I know it’s either very early or late at night!
It was very cold last night so I left the central heating on low. The sky had cleared and I think it was down to – 6°C last night. I was reading in bed, propped up under my moon nightlight, but I was sleepy. Suddenly Thud! The book had fallen on the floor and I had woken with a crick in my neck. I was cold and achy. The moon was clear and bright up in the sky, shining in through the window. Apparently last night there was a 20°C difference between the the coldest place in the UK, about – 16°C and the highest 4°C, so we were about a middling temperature.
Then I thought about anybody in an unheated house, or who are stuck outside in a tent or on the streets. What about them? I was in an old bed, in an old house, but I am so much luckier than a lot of people. Why is there such inequality?
Oh you rascal!
I can’t move..
Pinned down
By my cat!
On my legs
Just out of reach
Inscrutable stare
Always there
When I wake up!
Now I’m stuck
But you’re so cute
I forgive you
You’re neat
And sweet!
It’s hard to see, but one of our cats sleeps in front of our two oil filled radiators. He’s the biggest of our cats and has thick fur, but I think because he was abandoned and used to live outside, he’s taking advantage of the warmth he can get. It’s no problem to us as the heaters warm the whole room, and when he’s not there he’s usually outside in the cold. He really likes being out and about. One of the other two cats sleeps upstairs on a soft and fluffy bed or on the cat tree by the living room radiator, and the other one either sleeps on my chair, the sofa, or an igloo shaped bed in the living room. So basically they are all snug!
I must have been tired last night, I didn’t wake up till after two pm this afternoon. I hadn’t slept the night before and it feels like I’m getting no sleep one night and then a decent night the day after. Strategies for trying to sleep, like relaxation, meditation, deep breathing and other techniques don’t seem to work. I think we need a new bed, ours is over twenty five years old and very lumpy. I’ve folded up sheets to stop the springs sticking in me! It’s also a problem with pain. My toes hurt due to gout and having the sheets resting on them is uncomfortable to say the least, so I toss and turn all night and get up too exhausted to stay awake in the day! But I’m going to try and get a new bed maybe…. In any case I must stop moaning about things! I hate insomnia.
Nice to go upstairs and find a cat snuggled on the bed. It was different with one of our old cats though. She would crawl under the covers so you didn’t know she was there until she nipped your toe or ankle! This one sometimes gets under the sheets for a few minutes when I’m already in bed, a quick few purrs then I think she gets too hot and goes off into her hidey hole in the wardrobe where I have an old crocheted blanket. I’m glad we have cats.
Thank you to my hubby for rescuing me this morning. I was trying to get out of bed. I swung my legs out but ended up floundering on the edge. Half in and half out. My hubby came round and assisted me. I felt my bum sliding off the edge of the bed. I think. I was short of oxygen. I feel weak as a kitten. I hope this doesn’t get worse.
Sleepless, no dreams to tie my mind down. Only the dull drumming of my pulse in my ear. The ache of a big toe constricted by bed clothes. The air on my face shushing as my CPAP machine quietly stops my palette from collapsing. Aching shoulders gripped with tension. The tiredness continues, but I am awake. I try different ploys, reading by low lamplight until the book thuds to the floor, which generally wakes me up again. Multiple thoughts whirl around my head, they are like several butterflies or fireflies all swirling around. Try and pin one under a finger and another flits off towards the ceiling or the floor. Gouty aches twist my limbs. Was I ever so uncomfortable? I know I need to get up and use the bathroom, stubbornness and the hope of sleeping hold me in place for a few minutes, then I swing my legs out of bed and grapple with my balance before venturing down creaky stairs into the cold. Once again, like on many other nights, I make myself a warm drink to calm the shivers and try and relax. I may stay downstairs for half an hour, waiting for my hubby, who I disturbed, to get back to sleep. Often on returning to bed I put the radio on low on a speech channel, I don’t like music playing, but often I get drawn into a programme, the sound so soft it becomes hard to detect what is being said and my brain tries to decipher the words. At some stage I will either drift into sleep or get up and turn off the radio. Often the dawn is breaking before I finally get any rest. Sometimes I remember to try relaxation techniques. Or repeating the word ‘the’ over and over in my head. Sometimes I even stay downstairs and try and sleep in my armchair. Tonight might be one of those…..
Mallaband-Brown