New paintings and regular art updates.
I just woke up from a dream. I was in the street and I heard footsteps clattering up behind me. I turned and it was my hubby. Hair blowing behind him, his jacket flapping. He said a couple of words, something like ‘I’m here’? But then I woke up.
It’s not much of a story, but it was comforting. The thought that he is around somewhere, even if its just in my imagination made me feel better.
Glass ball with bubbles of air in it. I’m a bit of a collector of glass paperweights. I started collecting about thirty years ago when I got two with gold and silver leaf embedded in them. My latest one was a few weeks ago when I bought a apple shaped one with glass spirals. Given my current situation I don’t think I will be buying any more.
What cities do you want to visit?
I haven’t been to Manchester for years. I like it because it is a cultural centre. Galleries and Theatres and museums. But traffic is difficult. All the routes I used to know have changed. There are more bus lanes and priorities have changed. I got stuck in the city centre about five years ago. We had to turn round in a one way street and follow a bus lane to get out! Luckily I wasn’t fined.
Other problems include the train service, our last train from Manchester is always too early. You can’t stay for a drink after a theatre visit, there is no way to travel unless you take the car, and with carbon taxes it’s not possible to drive into the city centre in a pre millennium car.
If it’s clear tonight you might catch the end of the gemini meteor shower! There might be up to 100 meteors (shooting stars) an hour. They are grains of dust the size of a grain of sand burning up in the atmosphere. Bigger pieces can appear as fireballs. They are the remains of dust particles from a comet or asteroid. The Geminids are named after the sign of the zodiac they seem to come from. Gemini (the stars are castor and pollux). Bigger pieces that land are known as meteorites and can be worth a lot of money.
From Google :
Meteor showers tend to be associated with a particular space body; in the case of the Geminids, the source is an asteroid or space rock known as 3200 Phaethon. Every December, Earth runs into the stream of debris the asteroid leaves behind, bringing a new wave of crumbs into our atmosphere that shine as shooting stars.
So if you look out tonight I hope you see the shooting stars x
Over several months a friend has been collecting some of my smaller paintings. She sent me this photo of them yesterday and it struck me how varied they are!
The galleon painting has gold paint on it to give a feeling of the sunlight reflecting back up onto the reverse of the sails.
The small painting of the woman in the woods was taken from a photo from a friend, I loved the atmospheric feeling of it and tried to evoke the colours of autumn.
The dragon is based on an image that I had created for my college piece on the mythology of dragons. I had drawn and designed a children’s book and this was one of the ideas I used for it.
I’m so pleased my art is being appreciated, I love being creative and it keeps me going. X
If only? What if? I’m feeling so guilty. Why didn’t I spot there was a problem earlier? All those months of things that were not quite right, we should have gone to the doctors. I should have insisted. Have I neglected you? When I argued with you to go it was only towards the end? Should I blame myself, I can’t blame you.
Was it bad communication? Fear? Not wanting to see what might be wrong? I don’t know, I just feel bad. I need a little rant to try and clear my head. I can’t stop time, or make it go back, I wish I could, what twists or turns would I reverse to have you back? No pact with a deity can change things now. Forever.
“When you hear a bell ring an angel gets its wings”.
I was feeling very down this morning. I couldn’t see the point of things. I sat down and put the TV on. “It’s a Wonderful Life” with James Stewart was just starting.
Have you ever seen it? It’s an old film with a man who takes over a savings and loan company and supports all of his community, even when things are bad he sorts them out. But one day some money goes missing and he is about to lose everything. Meanwhile because everybody is praying for him, an angel (second class) is tasked to save him. It’s not a religious film and it’s very heartwarming and yet emotional to watch. It’s very humanitarian and caring.
If you like old films, and James Stewart, give it a go. Truly 5 stars.
Not talking today, it’s just easier not to.
I could ring friends but why bother
They can’t change things
Having time to rest
Think about life
The future
Then I watched Its a wonderful life
With James Stewart
And I cried
And cried.
That feels better.
There is hope.
An image of a punk woman came up on my Facebook memories today. I decided to draw another, older profile, thinking of the years that have passed since those days. I had done them both in the Artrage app. I then added texture and an overlay in photodirector. I’m trying to imagine it printed on old newspaper. Whatever I do, I have to draw.
Dear Me
It’s been a horrible few days. I’m worried and scared, but I must try and cope. Remember to breathe, don’t hide away. Memories of other situations make me want to do this.
I remember my mom when my dad died, she sat on the settee in the darkness for three days, in the end I wrote her a letter and asked her to look after us, her children. I think that finally got through to her. She seemed to respond.
Writing this is just a way of talking to myself, but to share with others, maybe it is something to think about for other people?
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