Sad

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There are so many sad things in the world today and sometimes they are overwhelming. We were singing quite a sad song at the music workshop today and one person could not join in. I think they were recently bereaved. Perhaps the song had special significance. I don’t know, but it made me think about love and loss, about how you can’t always know what’s going to happen next. It also made me feel sad about a relative whose situation has become difficult because they are spending a lot of time caring for someone else but are then neglecting themselves. Sometimes the burden that we put on ourselves can be debilitating.

Finally there are destitute people just in our neighbourhood, with no means of looking after themselves. The idea of austerity is wrong, no one should be put in a situation where they are homeless and hungry. This country has to ask itself why? Why don’t we care enough to turn things round? It’s easier to go out and buy things than give to charity, or pay a decent amount of tax to support those in need.

I’m not preaching, just thinking.

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Panorama

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This is my friends studio at Spode. She is moving away in the near future which is why I took the photo as a memory. I will miss her. I haven’t known her for long but she is a lovely person. Very thoughtful and creative. I hate it when good people move away. It’s happened a few times, and although you say you will keep in touch it’s hard sometimes to do that. Lives seperate, thoughts split, ideas are forgotten. I wish things didn’t change, but they do.

Hungry

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I’m hungry, only had breakfast today, my hubby isn’t interested. He had a big meal and doesn’t want anything, but I’m hungry. Went to the fridge, he’s already eaten something I had bought for both of us. He’s eaten both portions. I told him he’s a black hole, engulfing everything edible in sight.

I have some fresh beetroot and I’m thinking of making hummus with it, with some brown bread. But I have to cook it. He doesn’t really cook, he can do boiled egg on toast. The trouble is I have been so disappointed by his cooking that I take over. Its worrying because if anything happens to me will he cope? So anyway, I’m fed up (not fed). I feel like going on strike!

 

THUD

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Oh dear, a pigeon just flew into the bedroom window. I heard the thud and saw a feather flutter past the window. Richard went out and found it upside down on the ground. Sadly it must have broken its neck when it hit. It’s always sad to find something like this. It must have thought it could fly through as there is another window on the side of the house.

Home

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Sometimes I want to go home.

Not this house, home,

But the one I grew up in.

The family home and hearth.

The  place I knew so well

It’s nooks and crannys

The garden and the tree I climbed.

The old swing and the rockery.

Doors I shut forty years ago

Creak open in my mind.

I wish I could shut my eyes and go.

See our old pets, the roses by the back door.

Dad’s motorbike, mom’s hair in rollers.

Little memories make me homesick.

I would drive there now at 2am

But a new family live there.

I feel lost.

I wish…

I miss

Home.

Homesick

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I moved away from home 40 years ago. I was going to college and I got in to the polytechnic I attended. I completed my qualification and met my partner who became my hubby. We stayed here and although I went “home” for visits I never went back to the town I was born in properly, I mean permanently.

That was OK, but then my parent died and my sister who had lived there all her life decided to move away to another town. Now when I feel homesick I can’t drive there. It would be too odd to park outside. Would the new owners be aware I was there? Would it seem like stalking? I dont think I could do it. But what I do sometimes do is look on Google maps. I used to use the figure Icon and look at the house as if I was in the street. Obviously it’s not photographed every year but I noted changes in the drive and trees that have been removed. Now Google maps only shows me a view from the air. I used to use the roadside version so I could pretend to drive home. At least I have good memories but I do miss my old Home. X

Shouting

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It’s dark outside, in two minutes it will be the longest day of the year. In one minute……

There’s shouting outside, raucous farewells from the pub we live near to. A car revvs loudly in the night, then screeches of up the hill. A woman screams with laughter, so loud it sounds like distress but it turns into a loud giggle.

The longest day has arrived, well actually it did an hour ago. But because we are now in British summertime, our 1am is 12 (midnight) in the rest of the timezone we are in.

The noises have faded. Perhaps they have gone home. Taking their fag ends with them I hope. That is something that really annoys me since the smoking ban. People smoke outside and then discard the cigarette butt’s.

Someone is walking past, heavy shoes Thudding on the pavement outside like a rushing heart beat.

I’d better get some sleep, today, now, is a sad day, a relative passed away a few years ago and I remember it being the 21st of June, the longest day. My memories are stirred every year at thus time.

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