Goldfish

Wife. You left the hose on last night.

Husband. Did I?

Yes,

Well the garden needed a water.

You’d left it in the pond.

Oh

It’s overflowed.

Oh, but it’s OK

How do you know?

Why?

Have you looked?

Well no……

You know the waterlily

Yes

I found it under the hedge.. and..

? And

And the Canadian pond weed

Yes?

It was by the summerhouse.

Is that it?

No

What else?

The floating fountain had flushed down to the folly.

There’s something you are not telling me?

Yes?!

What?

The goldfish.

The goldfish?

The goldfish!!!

What’s happened to them?!

I found them inside your wellies. The cat was trying to fish them out.

Oh, that’s OK then!

Please complete this form

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Good morning, I am your assessor, please fill in this form.

How?

Online

….. How?

Online, on your laptop.

I don’t have a laptop!

On your PC or smart phone then.

….. Excuse me?

Yes?

I don’t own a laptop, PC or smartphone. I only have a pay as you go phone….
Well use the library….

… But the library is shut. They closed it and made people redundant. Now they don’t have enough volunteers.

Don’t you have a friend or relative to help you?

I don’t, they are all elderly.

Well, you can use the web cafe down the road.

Where’s that?

Down the road, in the precinct.

OK, thanks….. One more question?

Yes?

How do you use a computer, I’ve never owned one or used one! I’m 63, always worked with my hands, never used anything but pencil and paper. Never did IT at school, we used slates and chalk till I was ten. Finished school at 13. Went to work down the pit.

Sorry sir. You will have to find someone else to help you, your time is up!

Scales

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This dragon appeared from my garden hanging baskets photo. I liked the green so thought I would play around with the layout and sketch apps that I use.

I wrote a children’s story about a dragon once. It was a long time ago and I think I still have the floppy disc I saved it on. That was in the time of dial up modems when they used to make that funny dial up tone… Dah Di Dah Dah in a sort of metallic tune.

I never had the courage to send it in. It was too worthy I think. Not exciting enough. I asked a publisher to read it and also my friends daughter. I could tell the publisher wasn’t impressed and my friends daughter said I needed to make it funnier. Perhaps I also used too many long words.

Maybe one day I will edit it and try again. Is it sensible to try after twenty years? I’d like my dragon to go free…..

River

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Standing on the bridge looking over into the turbulent waters of the stream. She did not realise that in a few hours the water would be flowing above it. Mud and rocks were being washed down from the local hills, trees had slipped down the hillsides, branches had been broken from their boughs by a storm.

She walked along the waters edge, seeing the beauty of the land, green and verdant. She heard the rumble of thunder but it sounded hushed and far away. She walked down stream into a narrow valley, the birds were singing loudly, the sound echoing from the rocks.

She felt a gust of wind and realised the storm was getting closer. She hurried along the path, the road was half a mile away….

Now the wind and rain were rushing past her, each minute the squall grew stronger. She heard a rumbling sound and turned to look. A wall of black mud, tree trunks, churned towards her. She started to run and climb up the steep sides of the valley. Would she reach high ground in time?

Green door

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I keep missing write photo prompts where you write a piece about a photo.

This was taken at a grand house near Fountains Abbey in Yorkshire. I’m sorry I can’t remember the name of the building. What is important is that they rent out rooms for holiday let’s there.

Rachel ran down the stairs from her room and rushed out of the green door. It had happened again, the light had played a trick on her and she had seen a shadowy figure in the dust motes that danced in the beam of sunlight shining through the stained glass windows. She had decided to see if anyone was playing tricks with a mirror outside? How else could the image have been projected into her room?

But no one was there, not even the friendly female attendant who usually sat in the kiosk by the gate, selling tickets to tourists to visit the Abbey which stood in ruins only a quarter of a mile away.

She stepped back through the mossy green door. But not into the present. A stench of rotting flesh overwhelmed her. Figures scurried about carrying boxes, flowers, rushes for the lamps. She had gone back in time. A woman, who looked like a maid, shouted at her to move. He’s here, the King has arrived. Get on with your work. Fearful and panicking Rachel stepped backwards and fell, tripping off the step.

The kiosk lady stood over her. You OK dear? She asked…..

No……

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I have really interesting, involved dreams, marvellous fantasies. The trouble is when I wake up they are gone. Dissappeared, dissolved into the mists of reality. I have just woken up from one marvellous concoction. But it’s gone. I can’t grasp it back from my sleep. Today as I woke I could hear myself shouting Noooooo…..

In other news, I just heard the very quiet sound of running water. A hiss that signifies something is happening outside? Went out. My partner had switched the outside tap on last night with the hose attached… He’s left it on all night! I’m surprised the garden hasn’t floated away! We don’t have a hose ban, but I might ban him. Thank goodness we are not on a water meter!

Another reason to wake up shouting Noooooooo!

X

He said, she said

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He said, let’s visit the big house.

She said, do we have to?

He said, yes it would be fun

She said, but it’s boring.

He said, you liked Scarborough Castle,

She said, that was last year.

He said, what do you mean?

She said, I’m older now.

He said, you will like it.

She said, no, no way.

He said, well I’m going anyway,

She said, Dad. I’m a teenager now. It’s boring and I’m not going, end of!

The old wood

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Step over into the wood and you will be lost forever. Keep this side of the fence. That was what she was always warned as she grew up. There are wolves, bears, screech owls. Spiders big as dinner plates. The boogy man lives there.

For twenty years she kept out. But she knew one day she would have to climb the fence and go and look.

She was twenty one today, she had been to a birthday party at the village hall. Now she was walking home along the lane. The sun was setting and the wood loomed up above her rising up the hill, shutting off the sunlight.

One step led to another. Pine needles softened her footsteps, tree roots started to tangle round her ankles. She looked back to check where the path was, but could not see it through the trees. She tried to retrace her steps, but could not find the fence. Fear crept into her, she trembled as the cool night air touched her skin.

The night was darker and a cold rain fell, still she walked, tripping and falling into bushes, scratched from thorns.

It was early morning when the ranger found her wandering. She could not speak. Her eyes were staring into space, out of focus. No one ever found out what happened to her that night. But the Green man of the woods smiled to himself as she was taken away in an ambulance.

Howling

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The building was old. You could tell that by the wooden shutters over the windows, more like prison bars than anything else. Not a scary place to walk past in the daylight, but on the odd occasion that she walked past it at night she made sure she walked fast, just in case.

In case of what? No one knew much about the building, but it was attached to an old windmill and there was a tall wall leading off into the distance where the building ended. Just one gate, made of old and rotting wood, that was half way down the length of the wall..

When she had walked past before she could swear she had heard snuffling  like a dog, and something scratching at the gate. As she walked past her clicking heels would speed up to get her past. A rush of adrenalin enough to make her heart pound.

Tonight the alleyway was lit by a dim street lamp at either end. Slipping from behind the clouds a full bright moon gave extra illumination. Tonight the cobbles were wet, with a gleam in the light of small puddles reflecting back the moon.

No choice really, walk along the alley and cross the road to the car park, or walk half a mile round the one way system. At that moment a dreary drizzle started. It was the alleyway tonight. The quicker to get home and get warm. Her feet clicked and splashed as she walked along, she almost twisted her ankle on the cobbles. She passed the old shuttered window and heard, what exactly? Snuffling? Panting? She hurried on. Almost at the gate, just over halfway along the alley, point of no return. A sudden rushing sound, like a dog running, then a howl. She froze, there was the sound of something large hitting the old gate. She pulled off her shoes and ran….. The howl followed her…..

The steps

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The steps were old concrete and brick. Like the ones they had at school all those years ago. When she was a child they would play tinker, taylor, soldier on them. You had to jump up or down from one step to another depending on what your friends shouted. She couldn’t remember exactly how it worked but it was fun . That must have been 50 years ago.

She had walked past these steps every day for months. The tangle of vegetation was getting worse. Today though, she had decided to climb them. There was an old grey wooden door at the top of them. She would knock on and see if anyone answered??

It was quiet on the steps, the traffic noise from the road seemed to have died down. A haze like a mirage floated in the air. She stood for a moment taking this in. Realising how steep the steps were. How flimsy the handrail. She knocked……