They give you flowers
To salve your loss
To show they care.
I feel so grateful
To be remembered
But the need of a vase
Can be a problem.
I found one at last.
Flowers setted
Rejoyce in their beauty
Flowers
Tag: Life
He came to me
I just woke up from a dream. I was in the street and I heard footsteps clattering up behind me. I turned and it was my hubby. Hair blowing behind him, his jacket flapping. He said a couple of words, something like ‘I’m here’? But then I woke up.
It’s not much of a story, but it was comforting. The thought that he is around somewhere, even if its just in my imagination made me feel better.
Manchester
What cities do you want to visit?
I haven’t been to Manchester for years. I like it because it is a cultural centre. Galleries and Theatres and museums. But traffic is difficult. All the routes I used to know have changed. There are more bus lanes and priorities have changed. I got stuck in the city centre about five years ago. We had to turn round in a one way street and follow a bus lane to get out! Luckily I wasn’t fined.
Other problems include the train service, our last train from Manchester is always too early. You can’t stay for a drink after a theatre visit, there is no way to travel unless you take the car, and with carbon taxes it’s not possible to drive into the city centre in a pre millennium car.
I hope they think I’m kind
Tell us one thing you hope people say about you.
It says it all “# be kind”.
Why not? Why be horrible, unkind, cruel? To make life better for yourself by harming others? Too many dictators and politicians seem to think this way. Often they say populist things to the public, while making decisions that often go against their rhetoric. Looking to increase their power. Then again a lot CEOs pay themselves massive amounts above the lowest paid workers. 80 men earn more put together than half the world’s population, that’s about 4,000,000,000 (4 billion) people!
Kindness can be financial, or verbal, it might just be a gentle hug. It might be not enforcing unfair rules and laws that would be detrimental to different races, faiths, or sexualities. Often conflict is about us and them. Being unkind or treating people as ‘other’ or not ‘one of us’ is not what I support.
Basically it simply comes down to thinking about people, thinking what they need, and trying to help if you can, even if it’s only a few kind words. Be considerate, be kind.
Fun with documents (not)
Someone needs my original document to process a claim. I don’t want to send it as it could get lost in the post. Oh send a certified copy they said. Where do I do that? Solicitors or a doctors? I’m fed up. I’m sick of dealing with paperwork. All I’ve done today is cleaned a windowledge of dead plants that I have neglected recently. It’s all I can think of doing today.
Green gone!
My neighbours are fencing off the alleyway which is good because it will stop people getting in through the hedge, but they bought a digger in and grubbed up even more of the hedge. It’s near where my hubby wanted his ashes scattering. I couldn’t argue, I just stayed polite, the builder didn’t care or understand. But when things are sorted I will plant the spikiest holly and pyrocantha hedge that I can!
The builder said “your hedge is over the boundary line” I replied “this was my hedge for over twenty years, you are doing work for someone who literally just bought it”, he seemed to vaguely understand. I just hope he didn’t dig up any hedgehog nests!
Singing
I went to choir practice tonight. It was with trepidation and I was very nervous, but I’m glad I went. Breathing in and out, stretching my lungs, concentrating on the words and the emotions of each song. Gradually I felt a bit more like myself. It was scary and upsetting to start off with but by the end of the session I had relaxed a bit.
The only problem was that when I got home with a friend man in high vi’s trousers was wandering in the middle of the road. He watched us as we got out of the car, so we stood outside and loudly discussed if “Tom” or “Pete” were still up. Pretending someone was already in the house. Then I looked at the man and said I would ring the police. He wandered off and my friend sat in her car for five minutes watching out for me. Anxiety is a bad thing.
Paperwork
Paperwork
Lots of paperwork
Things to do,
Things to sign
People to inform
Life isn’t just simple
What to cancel
What to keep
Bereavement
You can keep it!
Medicine
What is something others do that sparks your admiration?
After my recent dealings with the NHS I have to share my admiration of the doctors, nurses and anciliary staff that work for it.
Many staff cared for my hubby, and he told me they were wonderfully caring, I can only echo this feeling.
I cannot say that all staff are the same, but the ones I met were so very helpful, I only wish we had sought medical advice earlier. But the illness he had was one that is difficult to detect and can be hard to treat.
The amount of knowledge and skills that they require is immense, having had some medical training myself I’m massively admiring of what they do. I only hope the NHS doesn’t fall apart under all the stresses and strains thrown at it by the pandemic, cost of living crisis, and cuts in funding including privatisation that robs it of some of its most important workers and skills.
Easier not to talk?
Not talking today, it’s just easier not to.
I could ring friends but why bother
They can’t change things
Having time to rest
Think about life
The future
Then I watched Its a wonderful life
With James Stewart
And I cried
And cried.
That feels better.
There is hope.
Mallaband-Brown 