Tears

I just came back from choir practice.

We were singing quite a sad song and suddenly things got a bit too much and I found tears in my eyes and rolling down my cheeks. I know I was tired, and my arm was hurting, but I’ve never really done that before. But I stood my ground I could have gone out of the room but I wanted to carry on singing, so I kept my head down, tried to dry my eyes, and kept going.

I’m glad people let me get on with it, I know I would have got even more upset if someone had come over to speak to me and really blubbed! Emotions, it’s bad how they can creep up on you.

Full on day!

I started out today at the Factory Floor at Spode singing with our choir and another choir. We were with the Boat Band who played cajun music first. Two of the band are our choir leaders. We sang before lunch was served and then again afterwards. It was great fun.

Then I went home for a rest, but I decided I felt well enough to go to yoga class. I haven’t Bern for a couple of weeks. I do chair yoga because I can’t get down on the floor and I can’t do inverted postures. My blood pressure is too high for that. Even so I felt tired afterwards, but it made me realise I have got over the cough and chest infection I’ve had for a few weeks.

Straight after yoga I sang with the other choir I am in. Each song was fun. I felt my voice getting clearer and I was able to hold notes I hadn’t been able to last week. We are learning some new songs and I was pleased that I could hear the tunes and pick them up. I had a really good day. I hope it carries on like this. X

Missing choir

I’m not going to choir practice yet. I just don’t feel up to it. Singing is such an emotional thing. I just know if I go I will want to cry. I can’t face that yet. When I go back I want to be calm and a lot less stressed. Everything is so painful in my mind and in my body. I maybe should not share these feelings, but sometimes it’s better to say something. I don’t have the energy to worry about anyone else at the moment, and that makes me feel guilty.

To anyone else going through loss, I’d like to send my deepest sympathies, I can’t feel the same way as they do, but I do care.

Out all day

Long day, a walk, a yoga class, singing. I feel exhausted. The walk was just round Westport Lake on a windy day. There were more geese than I’d seen for a long time. Mostly Canada Geese. But we are not allowed to feed them, because of bird flu. The Westport Lake Tearoom does not sell bird food anymore to try and restrict the spread of the disease. We just walked past the birds and felt sorry for them. Clearly they are used to being fed so they congregate together, so the disease can spread.

Later I went to yoga class, I’m limited in what I can do, so I try and do the movements sitting on a chair. I modify the positions to fit in as well as I can with the rest of the group.

Then later we practiced songs at choir. Some of them are joining the performance at Bethesda Chapel in Hanley, Stoke-on-Trent on Sunday. The show is called Animal Apocalypse. It is about the extinction and loss of animals in the world. It was quite a good practice. All in all a very busy day!

Learning new song

Learning a new song, 40 working horses about them and baker boys. It’s about when bakers delivered the bread by horse and cart. We were learning the song and I tried to draw a horse with the harness (although I don’t know exactly how it works), 40 X stands for the number in the song.

I do love drawing horses, when I was about ten I remember drawing a dappled grey horse and selling it to a friend for sixpence! (Old British money) X

Tonights sketch

One of tonights choir group, each week I’ve been drawing a participant as they sing. It’s good practice as they are moving and the shadows move with them. If you notice the image is slightly distorted. That’s because I had the sketchpad flat on my desk and it’s caused a slightly elongated drawing that is tipped slightly to the right…

It’s something to check on when you are drawing, sometimes it can cause a lot of distortion if you are not careful.

Observation

Had a couple of zoom meetings tonight. I decided to draw the second one as it was a choir practice. Partly because it was another Zoom meeting and partly because it looked slightly different because there were song lyrics showing up sometimes. The words are made up or from the song I sang because they only showed up when we were singing the songs.

The characters are representative but not exact portraits. In black and white ink on cartridge paper.

Choir practice

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Learning new songs tonight including ‘Summer is a coming in’. That was the song towards the end of the film ‘The Green Man’. Its a joyous song of the coming of summer, but I can’t get the image of Edward Woodward being captured and killed at the end of the film out of my mind.

We also started learning a wedding song but I left the words behind so can’t remember the title. I know it was sung by the Copper family, who are a folk singing group. We also continued to practice ‘Ay waulkin oh’ by Robert Burns. It means I’m still awake, and does not mean I’m walking…. Its about a woman worrying about her lover and when he will come back to her I think.

Talking about songs I still need to remember the words to ‘Prince Ali’ for the panto. I think it’s from the film ‘Aladdin’ with Robin Williams? Anyway I’ve got two days to learn the bits the chorus sing, so that’s OK then….