Leaving work

Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

It was a drastic decision, but I don’t regret it. Each time I thought I knew my job inside out the management changed things. In that sort of situation you could be doing the right thing one day and the wrong the next. That’s the problem with hierarchy, the top decides and the bottom has to implement rules even if they don’t make sense. And each time the goalposts move it’s not likely to be in your favour.

So I found myself out of work, but not regretting it. I had enough money to live on for a while so I set myself up as an artist. Of course I had grand ideas of sales and building a clientele, but at that stage I really didn’t know that my health would not be good. With that and the pandemic (no I haven’t had covid as yet) I found I really didn’t have a business. But I don’t care, I’m away from the humdrum, I’m not being made miserable by rules I don’t like and don’t want to follow. I have had more freedom to be myself than I ever had during the rest of my life. I guess I’m what they call semi retired. A hobbyist? I’d rather paint than do anything else.

Would I reverse the change? Never. I’ve only been back and seen my colleagues a couple of times. The past is the past, let it be!

Tired

A long day, a funeral, a wake. Gentle celebration of a lost life. No awful grief, just a summing up of someone that touched many hearts. I am proud of her. I was moved and surprised by her life.

Seeing myself on the photos in tribute to her was a shock, I hadn’t been told they would be there. That touched me deeply. To know that half of me has now been seperated. I touched the coffin and said goodbye. A long day, a painful day, but a joyful day.

Leaves fall from the trees, they gradually break down and disintegrate, but their molecules are still there, they add to more life and energy, they are still part of the universe. They exist, existed, they have not exited this realm. A lot to think about. My gratitude continues as I remember sharing my life with her, my sister, my twin.

Sweet cat

He’s getting older, I watch him daily. He’s getting older, but he can still be kittenish. A quick mrpurr and then a dash across the room. But he likes to sleep. His heart is old, beats slowly. I hope he will stay a few years longer. Happy and contented.

Yesterday I watched a YouTube video of a man saying farewell to his much loved cat. He lay on the floor, strolling the cats nose and cheeks gently. You could see his tears. I remember the times I have had to say goodbye too.

So much sadness in the world today. Farewells are mounting up. Let there be love and peace for a change. X

Farewell

Farewell to a friend I never met. A woman a little older, and a lot wiser than me. Someone I admired and thought of often. I knew that she was going, but I didn’t want to believe it.

Waking up this morning and hearing on an email that she passed away has made me feel very sad. Wishing that she had been given a bit more time. But this is real life. People die and leave big or small holes in your life. I’d followed her blog for two or three years and always enjoyed it. I probably read most of her posts and enjoyed joining in her Thursday writing prompts. I particularly loved reading what her small dog felt about what was happening.

She bought interest into my life and we chatted in the comments on her blog occasionally. I’m sure there was a lot more about her that I didn’t know, and this is meant to be a small tribute to her. To say Farewell and to offer condolences.

I am want to say thank you to her partner Stuart for letting us know it has happened. Not knowing and just finding someone has disappeared is awful. I hope it is OK to have written this.

Rest in Peace Sue Vincent. 29.3.21

Memory, one year ago.

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I wanted to write a poem that rhymed more. A lot of what I write is in blank verse (a poem where words don’t rhyme). I tried to do something more flowing here. Don’t know if it worked.   (Could be a song?)

Different time

different place in space,

we’ve moved on,

you and I,

its a different sky.

My time is here,

your time has gone,

my life moves on,

you are almost forgotten.

Don’t force a smile,

you will be fine,

just let me go,

the stars say so.

Do say farewells,

and stay a friend,

but our sweet love,

must have an end.

Four years

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Thank you Facebook for reminding me that I drew this when David Bowie died.

I didn’t realise how much his music meant to me. But he was there throughout my life. I can’t remember all his songs, but some of them really were Wonderful. Now I try to remember the titles I can’t! I’m useless with music, I have a blank spot. But I loved his music anyway.

Sitting in the dark.

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Sitting in the dark,

knocked for six,

Feeling so sad,

so sad, so sad.

Never really met,

But deep inside I knew,

we would always be friends,

buddies, chums.

Artist, faithful, thoughtful,

always so kind.

Mother, aunt and wife,

carer for her family,

Matriarch and home maker,

gentle and kind.

Shocked by the news,

came out of the blue,

crying so much,

So sad, so bad.

So sad.

Farewell friend.

X