My sister

Who would you like to talk to soon?

I don’t get to speak to some people often enough. My sisters live away from here, miles away, so I’ve got to talk to them over the phone, or on the Internet. It’s the same as being on a zoom call, still friendly but no hugs. I get to see one of them occasionally.

I know I have lots of friends, but I still isolate myself when I’m feeling down. Certain things like choir cheer me up but it’s still a big effort and when I’ve had a shaky day like today it’s just hard to reach out. I don’t want to impose on them. I wish my cats could speak, what gems would they pass on? I imagine the words feed me would come up frequently!

Glass paperweights

Do you have any collections?

It started small, two paperweights in blue and red with gold and silver leaf surrounded by clear glass globes. I loved the way the centres were embedded and I’ve always thought they look like small planets.

The skill and attention of the glass blowers that made them sparked an interest that has stayed with me, so every so often I will treat myself to a new one.

They have to be sturdy because the windowledge they are on to catch the light is also my cats favourite sun trap, so they have been knocked off onto the floor a few times “thud”, but no breakages luckily.

Also luckily they have not acted as lenses and heated up or set fire to anything! Always check it’s safe to place them. I wouldn’t put them where they can act as magnifying glasses to focus bright sunlight. My window is shaded by trees.

I have other collections but this could get quite boring!

Bizarre?

No it’s a friends knee!

My friend was wearing a pair of trousers with abstract cats on it. At one stage the folds in the cloth made it look like a giant, one eyed alien cat was staring at me.

I can imagine a world with different coloured beasts, each of them monocular or cyclopean. Perhaps they have no need for binocular vision, especially if the planet is always foggy so you never get to see great distances. Or an ocean world with dim views of reefs full of eel like creatures? Colours would be similar to the way octopuses or squids change when attacked or showing emotions.

Whatever you want to think, but I do like the bizarreness of this photo.

Where is he?

One of my cats has gone missing, he’s an older cat with a heart murmur. I keep calling and whistling him but he hasn’t come back since last night.

He’s done it before, about five years ago he disappeared for 10 days. He got out through a window (he used to be an indoor cat). He must have got lost. I think he was shut in a garage or shed while someone was on holiday, it looked like he had tried to dig his way out, his paws and nose were filthy.

Now? It was a warm night, he might have found somewhere cool to sleep. I’m going to have to go round the garden and see if I can find him. I hope he’s OK.

Old cat sketch

One of our cats from thirty years ago. Drawing in biro. He lived until he was about 17. He was a lovely quiet cat and I remember him and his sister were sweet. His mum came to us, as a pregnant stray. She was very intelligent and liked riding on my shoulders but her son didn’t do that. But he was still clever and would always come when I called or whistled him. He used to sneak into my neighbours house through their cat flap and he came home once with a huge steak in his mouth, growling when I took it off him. I never dared tell my friends what he had done!

Happiness?

Looking at these kittens from 7 years ago cheers me up. The sun is shining, there is a nice film on the TV. But I really feel down and anxious. I want to talk to someone, but everyone has their own lives to lead and I don’t want to bother them. I could ring up but my phone is on the blink. I talk but the person at the other end can’t hear me although I can hear them. I feel like it’s a metaphor (is that the right word?) for my life, frustrated and worried. Will things ever be good again? Will I find a modicum of happiness? I don’t know.