My world.
I fight
The paint peels
I hold it tight
I won’t give up
Nor give in
My mind
My sight.
Stubborn is
My friend
Stoic is
My motto
I’m still me
I hope you understand.
I’m strong.
Stoic and Stubborn
Tag: Strength
Shattered
Now I’m tired all the time, I try and do things and end up shattered.
I get fed up of having to take tablets everyday. Sometimes they have to be tweaked to adjust how my body copes with things. Currently I’ve stopped one type of tablet and have started on something new. All this takes time to get used to.
Life consists of doing a few things to try and keep contact with friends, but not really being able to cope with day to day tasks. My sister bought me a jar and bottle gripper a few weeks ago. It’s been a godsend because I’ve lost strength in my arms and hands. People of a certain age will have heard of Pansy Potter, the strong man’s daughter. I used to be really strong and, able to pick up heavy weights or open tightly closed jars, what happened to me? I’ve suddenly realised I have got old. I don’t mind looking old, but I wish I was able to get back some of my fitness. I know it’s important to keep moving if you have Parkinsons, but it’s hard when you feel tired. I want to go back in time. I want my life back.
Sorry, moaning over.
Cycling
What’s the most fun way to exercise?
I’ve cycled for exercise when I was younger and I loved the freedom of it. You could travel for miles, with the ability to see places you could never get to on foot and if you travel in a car or a train the world goes by almost too fast so that you don’t get the connection with the land that you do on a bike.
We cycled for many years and I went from pushing my bike up hills, to slowly slogging up in bottom gear to being able to make good progress up to a summit. I could tell my fitness was improving, my breathing improved and my physical strength improved too. My hubby and I could cycle up to a hundred miles in under eight hours!
The worst thing that happened to me was a bike accident that eventually persuaded me to get a car. I should have continued to cycle.
Gymnastics
What Olympic sports do you enjoy watching the most?
Watching gymnastics over the years reminds me of Olga Korbut and Nadia Comaneci with their virtually perfect performances at the Olympics. Oh how I wished I could twist and turn my body like them! My abilities were more along the lines of running and cycling. But I always to watched them on TV and I have continued to follow the gymnastics ever since.
It’s not just the female gymnasts, the men are brilliant too. The competitions are different, with apparatus based on the physiques of the male and female body. Balance, poise, strength and flexibility all are important to these athletes.
Looking forward to Paris 2024.
I can’t ask you
I turned to you to ask you a question. But you were not there. You cannot come back.
You were so knowledgeable, I could mention something and you knew the way my mind was working. You would ask me and be surprised by what I knew. We agreed that I had picked up a lot of knowledge from you. I recognise trains and tractors because of you. I could ask you about chemistry and physics. We would laugh and compete to answer TV quiz questions. Sometimes I would beat you, other times you would beat me. Most often it was a draw.
Thinking of you now I see a hole in the air where you were. A space unfilled by your spirit. You have gone ahead, like going to bed, and I don’t want to follow yet? My bonds are here on earth, close tied to friends and family. Don’t let me loose those bonds yet. I have obligations, how could I let the cats down? My family down. Please look over me and keep me safe in your heart as I hold you in mine.
Thoughts late at night.
He was young once
Old eye, still looks out. No one can remember it’s youth like I. He still has the sparkle, the strength, despite the depth of flesh. Sometimes gentle, sometimes proud. He reminds me of am ambassador, so aloof.
My hubby, old flesh, heart still beats gently. I’m still in love with him, even with his mad thoughts. If it was a previous age he would have been a warrior king. Not always right, but always strong.
Tension
I wake on a cliff edge.
Teetering, tottering..
Tension racks my shoulders
Stiff, creaking joints.
Sleep does not touch the tightness.
I feel like bones will break.
Mentally I’m OK,
Physically I’m OK
But my mind is tying my body in knots.
Spine fused with tension.
Like a gathering storm.
Waves waiting to break,
Teeth ground to sand.
Life fights.
Thunder clashes overhead.
Will I fall?
Will I stand.
Still.
Mallaband-Brown 