Tag: Missing him

Writing group prompt: A love poem?

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You hold my heart in your hands.

Squeeze a little and my heart burns.

Squeeze a lot? Somersaults.

The thumping steadies.

I need blood pressure medication.

Once many years ago we met.

First sight love?

No, it took a while.

No dancing bliss.

I almost gave you a miss.

My first kiss? Shy.

Then you were my guy.

But once it started.

Love and happiness grew.

Blossomed in Spring.

Flowered in summer.

Was gentle in autumn.

But flew away and was lost in winter.

Now love and greif mix.

I can imagine no one else.

But you.

Heart felt

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Every so often I find a heart, and I smile and remember, I’m not alone.

Memories grip me, I remember clear days, driving through country lanes, visiting old houses, happiness, times spent together.

It doesn’t have to be a leaf, I see hearts in swirls of coffee, puddles, holes in crumpets, flower petals, it’s just some random pattern that leads me to loving feelings, caring, comforting, companionable love.

And I’m glad.

So many things

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We sat and planned places to go. He wanted to go to the East coast and Scotland. I wanted to go to Devon and the Lake district. We thought over the next few years we would visit places like Cardiff or the Angel of the North.

It would be our big adventure. The time would be set aside, we would get cat sitters and take a few days away. Not months, but enough to explore places.

What was stopping us? I was nervous of driving long distances after developing shakes a couple of years ago. He didn’t drive because of his anxiety. But I’d hoped that I would have a diagnosis and get better. I would have loved to go to those places.

But things happened, Covid came and went, trains were unreliable, neither of us liked coaches, we preferred the freedom of our car. In the last year though we drove less than 500 miles. We stuck to places we knew and enjoyed.

Why am I mentioning this? Watching TV, seeing a destination that I might still visit, but without him? What’s the point? He was my partner, life time companion, friend, and I want him back!

Old sayings

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There was a question today on Facebook about remembering old sayings that people used to tell you.

It made me remember things my father said to me. When I asked my dad where he was going he would say ‘there and back to see how far it is’ these words had a magically irritating affect on me! Also when he was annoyed he would tell us to ‘go and take a long walk off a short pier!’ Someone also talked about going the see a man about a dog.

The first time as a child you hear these, you think they are true. I used to try and work out what it meant. I didn’t know it was a saying. I imagined people falling to their deaths off the pier. And would dad be bringing a dog home? The worst was always the one about going there and back to see how far it was. It irritated the hell out of me. Eventually I was old enough and he would take usv for rides on the back of his motorbike. Generally I used to go for a ride out into the countryside just for some fresh air and to get away from the city.

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