Tag: Thinking

Many things

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What have you been putting off doing? Why?

When you go through bad times anxiety and nerves can hold you back. These emotions can make you hold your tongue, stop you going out, make you forget to write to, or email, or phone people. You put off till tomorrow and forget to do today… Eventually everything piles up and you don’t do anything, or just the bare minimum.

But I’m learning through counselling to do easy tasks first, then as they get easier and less onerous you can move on to medium difficulty tasks, and finally difficult ones. But if you have a set back, don’t give up. Start again with things you can cope with and gradually move on. Self repair, self acceptance. Be kind to yourself.

Last week I found myself laughing, I hope I can start doing more of the things I have been putting off. Hopefully…. Unless I get too stressed.

A lot of people

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If you had a million dollars to give away, who would you give it to?

I’ve actually thought this through. I would give some to family and friends, it turns out you can gift someone £3000 without having to pay tax. But I would give more than that and gladly pay it. Then I would think of acquaintances to help. I would try and share a reasonable amount. Having done that I would buy a small house and garden, a bit bigger than mine now, but not huge. Enough to neatly fit paintings and books with a warm studio with plenty of light to paint and draw in. A natural garden with pond. It would not be too far away from family and friends. Obviously the cats come along too.

I would have to ensure I could pay all my bills each year.

Finally I would try and donate to charity… I would have to support local as well as national charities.

Still doing gratitudes.

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After a break because I was injured and fed up I decided to start a new gratitude book. I wrote down what had happened so that I will remember how I was feeling. But I didn’t want to start right from the beginning. So today I’m actually on day 420.

Three gratitudes a day helps balance the bad things that are going on as well. I like adding a small sketch to each gratitude to make it more real to me and helps me remember what went on during the day. I’m glad this idea was suggested to me. It really helps x

Two appointments

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Sitting waiting for two housecalls. I booked them in my diary last week and got up to tidy up, did the washing up and put a load in the washing machine.

Now I’m sitting and waiting. I’ve tried to find the email address and phone numbers for the visitors but they are on a bit of paper ‘somewhere’ and I’ve tidied it away ‘somewhere’. To find it I think I’m going to have to go through all the papers I piled up in a big pile to get them out of the way.

When you make an appointment it would be good to let the person know if you are going to be delayed as a courtesy. I know I’m old fashioned. But I wish I knew what was going on!

Everything

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What details of your life could you pay more attention to?

Recently I’ve been putting my head in the sand and taking avoiding action. Anxiety will do that to you. Pulling my mind and life back up out of it is hard work.

A lot of it is external, caused by things out of my control. But even so I must pay more attention to things. I must not let things to continue to spiral out of my grasp.

The plan is to look at easy, medium and hard things to do. Trying to do one or two or even three of them a day.

What I found was that trying to do all three one day exhausted me, made me too tired the next day to do anything more. I think I am a bit burnt out? Maybe getting things done less quickly and trying to build up is the best way to go?

Anyway I’m going to try and get back to normal soon.

.

Getting organised

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What’s your #1 priority tomorrow?

I’ve been disorganised and muddled for a while. I need to get some semblance of organisation back in my life.

So, I am trying to use my diary more, and not ignore it. I’ve got into the habit of moving things on instead of doing things. I’ve got to stop. I think I mustn’t overload myself with plans.

My main problem is procrastination. Like a rabbit caught in the headlights, I get worried about how I’m going to get something done, that leads to anxiety, and I find it easier not to do the thing that needs doing.

Life has a way of getting involved, things crop up and stop you in your tracks. Pain and anxiety mix into a cocktail of disasters. The world spins you round the wrong way and everything gets out of kilter.

So now I have to start getting over things, I need to break my fears down into achievable goals, or I will just sink into a deeper mess. Getting organised is definitely my number one priority.

Size matters

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I was just wondering how big the UK is relative to the USA. Turns out according to Google it’s 40 times smaller than the USA! (also 32 times smaller than Australia).

We can drive across the country in a day. I could drive for maybe two or three days North to South John O’groats to Lands end, although it has been done much faster. The direct distance is 603 miles, but the road distance is 837 miles. So driving over the limit at 83.7 mph you could drive it in ten hours. But if you drove at just 40mph you could do it in less than 24 hours!

Goodness knows how long it would take to drive across America and I guess it also depends where on the coasts you drive from. America is wider in the north than in the south?

Compassion

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What’s the trait you value most about yourself?

I think its important to care about people. It means a lot to me. Empathy is important too. Trying to understand where people come from. Sometimes people are hard to get, they don’t make sense. But I still think you have to care.

Compassion is key to that, seeing the problems people are suffering and trying to get to the bottom of why it’s happening. Not blaming them for how their lives are turning out.

I know I cannot aways help people. It’s so hard to explain what I mean. But if you put yourself in their shoes at least there is a chance you can understand their motivations.

I hate rhetoric that describes people in a bad way and that creates a feeling of us and them. It is just a way to divide and conquer. In the modern world there seems to be such a blame culture, where compassionate thoughts could make things better for everyone?

I know I’m an idealist and most readers will find my thoughts wishy washy and weak. But it’s ingrained into me. I make no apologies for it.

Poison words

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What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

I used to be hurt when people said things to me to upset me. I would take on board what they said, and it could lead to several sleepless nights, or mistrusting my judgement or feelings.

After a few years of this I talked to a new friend who explained a way of getting through or over the uncaring words.

What they said was imagine the nasty words are poison. The words are absorbed by the victim (in this case me) and the poison works it’s way into the mind of the person they want to hurt. This affects that person’s confidence, thoughts, security.

But in the meantime the person doing the poisoning walks away scot free. With no effect on them, able to go and place poison elsewhere, spreading their cruelty and getting a rise out of others.

The trick is to realise what they are doing and train yourself to ignore their jibes. Inoculate your mind against their poison and learn to stop their tricks before they can get to you. It really does help.

Love and friendship

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What things give you energy?

I’m trying to be honest with this post, I am honest when I blog but I don’t express my emotions here very much. What I will say is that when I’m down I get energy from love and friendship from family and friends. But what I don’t do is seek out those people when I feel sad. I guess I don’t like dragging others down with me. I hide away from them and instead of getting healing energy I feel lower moods.

But when I allow people to know what’s going on, I think I get positive energy from them. Which can lift my mood. It’s just finding a balance, it’s hard to do that.

I think I also get energy from doing art. It increases my enthusiasm to do more. It makes me feel free and able to use my imagination. I get a lot more energy from Art when family and friends enjoy what I do, in that way I know what I’m doing is possibly worthwhile. One thing I do have is imposter syndrome which means I feel like I question my validity a lot. Perhaps that’s why I blog.