Im drinking beer and thinking…

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I’ve not had that much beer, probably a bottle, because I’m sharing with my partner, trying to see which one is best. My favourite is a chocolate flavoured porter. About 6% abv. That’s quite strong but I’ve had less than a quarter of a pint and if I can spell that I’m OK. Just chilling.

So my thoughts are.

I’m lucky to be able to do this, sit and watch TV, have a roof over my head. Be able to paint and draw. Have enough money to feed myself and my partner, run an old car…,

I wish everyone had that chance. Could live in peace. I’m a silly old idealist. But I care about people. ….maybe this is the drink talking? I see people begging in the streets. It wasn’t always like that. We were more of a caring country I think, where did we go wrong!? Austerity is a word used to hide the cruelty of the rich getting richer and the poor, well..poorer.

The working poor is the latest thing. Doctors, nurses and police taking second jobs to earn enough to live on? When did that start? Ordinary people with three or more jobs to pay the rent?

I’m leaving this here…what is happening to the world!

Premonitions

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What makes the world go round? How do we experience time? What is a premonition?

Some people pretend to prognosticate, be aware of portentous events before they happen. Other people do not give these ideas credence, or use logic to work out what is actually happening.

On a few occassions something will happen that I thought of the day, hour or minute before. For instance yesterday I remembered hearing a radio play with a particular character in several months ago. Today another play with the same character was on the radio….it made me quite confused. Could it be I had had a premonition? When I look back on my life I can remember other instances when I knew something was going to happen. Almost as if Time was playing in reverse, so I knew because it had already happened?

Then the sceptic in me woke up. Perhaps I had heard a trailer for the play on the radio yesterday but only on a subconscious level? Maybe other premonitions were coincidences. Although I can’t explain when I dreamt that I would meet some friends on a cycle ride and have to take shelter from a storm in a bus shelter? That actually did happen!

Weird, maybe something to do with quantum entanglement. But thats another story. This thing has never allowed me to predict lottery numbers or winners of horse races. Although I do win more than my fair share of raffle prizes!

Rejection

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How to deal with rejection?

I entered three paintings for our local 3 Counties Open art exhibition, but yet again all of them have been rejected. I thought they had a good chance, but no, nothing. I’ve entered in the past and been successful on a few occasions. …maybe my idea of art is too different from anyone else?

I have not added photos if them I don’t want to remind myself…

It’s a hard thing to accept, I know its nothing in the middle of all the bad things happening in the world. But I feel a gut wrenching sadness…I’m clearly not good at this….

Thinking about it, really it is a personal choice by the judge’s. There is nothing in the entry form to give you a clue what they like, and in any case, I think art should be original not made for a criteria. I guess they didn’t fit in with the rest of the show. I don’t know if I will bother with the opening, I can be very self critical and I might end up getting upset.

So, I will do what I always do, carry on with my own ideas. Not get too despondent. Life carries on. I need to take a breath and relax, get over it and start over…

I try too hard

To make you see,

My art is mine, alone to me.

I know I am frustrated by rejection

But life’s like that,

I must temper my reaction.

My pain will be brief

No death here,

Just feeling bereft

Not shedding a tear.

I will carry on

I will go ahead,

My art is my own

I will not regret.

Xx

My Triceratops

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Im not sure about the juxtaposition of these objects, and I’m certainly not sure if this is a poem, but I thought I would try and write something…..

Come drink at the mirror pool, my Triceratops

Dip your horned snout deep into its glassy surface.

Remember Rhinos or Elephants hidden in time drinking here.

Plastic, printed, broken foot….night light shines to light the way.

My Triceratops, a whim when bought, now friend.

Each brick and brack gathered and coveted. No space for you?

But still you stay….

Triceratops, on a tray, on the microwave…

How random is that place, how chaotic….

My Triceratops please stay.

 

Pastel workshop

I went to a pastel drawing workshop today. We were shown how to use various grades of “toothed” paper. It was like drawing on fine sandpaper .

The smoothest grade was used with soft pastels (not the oily sort but the dry powdery ones). You could use a silicone spreader, I think it was called, or your fingers and hands to blend the colours.

First you make broad sweeps of tones, all of similar colours, so a light blue, mid blue and dark blue or grey for instance. You smudge them on the paper, then you add layers, working into each layer and dragging the pastels about with the spreader/smudger. You can get interesting marks and edges using this tool.

Then you overlay other colours to contrast, say an orange or a pink, adding detail as you go. Finally adding the darkest and lightest colours, which seem to float on top of the others.

The second paper was rougher and you must not get it damp or the surface will come away. It was coloured a turquouse blue. This paper was so rough you were not supposed to smudge it as it would destroy the texture. You had to draw with thinner layers of pastel and in a much more impressionistic style.

The third paper was really rough like sandpaper. The tutor said sometimes people fetch the skin off their fingers blending it. Better to swiftly smudge it with the flat if your palm. This paper could be wetted with an alcohol based liquid which allowed the pastels to blend and run. As the liquid quickly dried you could draw over it and smudge it with the silicone spreader. or use a pastel pencil for more definition.

I gained a lot of information from the workshop and will be doing some more work in pastels.