Insomnia

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Insomnia bites at my mind.

Makes sleep impossible,

Hides the remote to my dreams,

It gives no respite to my need to rest,

I am a prisoner held in its bright grasp.

Sleep, eludes, escapes, disappears.

5am ..the sun is rising on another day….

Shall I try again for a brief nap?

The click clack of the clock invades my ears,

Makes me hear the dawn chorus….

The radio susserating quietly by my bed…will I drift on …

Onto a narcoleptic ocean, softly, softly, gently falling…

AWAKE!

Casey

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If ever there was a strange cat it was Casey. He would jump in to any box, and kite! Black and white, with golden eyes, white paws, weighing in at around 5 kilos.

Casey was a stray, he kept going into a local shop and walking along the shelves, knocking things down. I was asked if we would take him in as no one else had claimed him. So he became our cat for a while.

But Casey was not clever. Every day he would sit on the white line on the centre of our road, every day, just after 5, when cars were driving down the street. Every day risking his life. I would drive round the corner, get out of the car, and call him in. I never knew why he did it, but as the evenings got darker I became more worried.

Then one night he limped in through the back door. We took him to the vets and they said he must have been hit by a car. The head of his femur had been broken, where it fits into the hip socket. We had to let them operate to remove it, the hip would recover if he was kept quiet and not allowed to move around much. We got a small cage and he had to stay in it for 3 months…..

Eventually he was allowed out. He was fit and healthy again, but I doubted his ability to stay safe. It was winter so Casey was given luminous, sparkling collars so that if he did go onto the road he would be visible to cars.

Nothing happened for a while. I took  a photo of him playing in the kite and decided to paint it.

Then one night he went out and when I looked for him in the morning he was nowhere to be found.

Worried, I put up posters, I rang a local cat charity, and then as it was the weekend, I had to wait for Monday to ring the council to see if their waste trucks had picked up a black and white cat. But there was no news.

Finally I rang another charity, yes they had collected a badly injured cat, they told me which vet he had gone to. It was on the other side of the city, it was the emergency vet that they used.

I rang in hope and fear. Yes they had received the cat, but it was badly injured when they got it so they had put it to sleep….. I was shocked. I asked why, and they said it was because no owner could be found! I asked what would have happened if I had found out where he was earlier? They would have operated to remove his leg! I could not get over the fact that he had been euthenised because I had not contacted them….I was so upset. His life was taken because there was no one available to pay a large bill….I was totally broken, felt so guilty. But there was no way I could have known where he was. It was before microchipping came in. My cats are both microchipped.

I still miss that mad, weird cat…..

Phantasms

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Phantasmagoria….

I looked up the definition, it says it is a “shifting medley of real or imagined figures, as in a dream”….. noun.

I had not really thought about the word Phantasm until I saw it on a programme earlier today. It makes me think of ghostly figures and ectoplasm.

I don’t know if I believe in them, but there are people that do. A local pub which used to be a hotel is supposed to be one of the most haunted pubs in the country. The Leopard in Burslem, Stoke on Trent, is know for its spooky atmosphere. Several TV shows have been filmed there to explore the ghostly emanations. There is a story that there are phantoms in the cellar, and ghost hunts regularly take place there.

I can imagine figures walking through the public bar, or in the back room. Floating above the ground, disappearing behind curtains or into walls. Spirits caught between the past and the present. The stairs that lead downstairs feel particularly eerie. There us a geological fault in Burslem and the building has a strong lean to one side. If  you drop a ball on the floor it will roll to the other side of the room. The Leopard has a long history and is very interesting to visit.

I have not seen anything myself, but some of the staff and customers say they have. Whether there is such a thing a Phantasms is not something I can prove or disprove. I think I will keep an open mind.

Rejection

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How to deal with rejection?

I entered three paintings for our local 3 Counties Open art exhibition, but yet again all of them have been rejected. I thought they had a good chance, but no, nothing. I’ve entered in the past and been successful on a few occasions. …maybe my idea of art is too different from anyone else?

I have not added photos if them I don’t want to remind myself…

It’s a hard thing to accept, I know its nothing in the middle of all the bad things happening in the world. But I feel a gut wrenching sadness…I’m clearly not good at this….

Thinking about it, really it is a personal choice by the judge’s. There is nothing in the entry form to give you a clue what they like, and in any case, I think art should be original not made for a criteria. I guess they didn’t fit in with the rest of the show. I don’t know if I will bother with the opening, I can be very self critical and I might end up getting upset.

So, I will do what I always do, carry on with my own ideas. Not get too despondent. Life carries on. I need to take a breath and relax, get over it and start over…

I try too hard

To make you see,

My art is mine, alone to me.

I know I am frustrated by rejection

But life’s like that,

I must temper my reaction.

My pain will be brief

No death here,

Just feeling bereft

Not shedding a tear.

I will carry on

I will go ahead,

My art is my own

I will not regret.

Xx

I ♡ vegetables

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I’m trying to be a bit healthier so I decided to sautee some vegetables, (mangetout, carrot, onion, orange pepper, mushrooms). …added Brown rice and some tomato pasta sauce at the end.

I like this sort of simple cooking, not too much oil, a bit of water, to keep the fat levels down….not too much pasta sauce, save the rest for tomorrow.

I’m so lucky to have these things available to me. Most of the world does not have a selection of fresh vegetables and meat you can buy all year round. People lack fresh water and sanitation. Life can be hard and harsh. It’s only when you think about others that you realise how well off you are.

I wonder how I would manage if I was put in the situation, the life, of someone living on under a dollar a day? I can’t imagine the hardships. I don’t know enough about it to comment so I will leave the thought in my mind and try and find out more.

Is it wrong to say our way of life is superior anyway? The busy urban life we lead in western cities and towns robs us of contact with nature. The 24 hour a day culture that had grown up around us keeps us from sunlight and air. We are cocooned in our glass plated homes. A chrysalis waiting to emerge? Or to die because we overheated?

Perhaps it would be better if the world shared and pooled its resources, a bit less for the rich, a bit more for the poor. Yes I admit I am an idealist. I want the best for all humanity. If I could share this meal I would,

X.

Liebster Award!

Thank you, Cosistories for nominating me for this award! You’re awesome!  😀

The Rules

  • Thank the person who nominated you.
  • Answer 11 questions about yourself provided by you nominator—or 11 random facts.
  • Nominate 5-11 fellow bloggers with fewer than 1000 followers who you think deserve the award.
  • Create a new list of questions for your nominees.
  • List the rules in your post.
  • Let your nominees know of your nomination personally.

Cosistories questions:

  1. What’s the last blog post you read? Smw166, sueswhittles.wordpress.com
  2. If you could ship a fictional character to a deserted island populated by angry cannibals, who would you send? Spiderman,  he could  escape from them!
  3. Which one of your posts are you most proud of?
  4. Do you believe in ghosts? No, definitely not.
  5. Cats or dogs or rabbits? Cats of course.
  6. Bungee jumping or jumping out of a plane? Er …neither, I have vertigo!
  7. Have you ever read a book and thought, “Darn. I wish I wrote this”? Which book was it? The Colour Purple, so thought provoking.
  8. What is the best advice you’ve been given – writing advice or otherwise? Keep trying, practice really does help…from an art teacher. 

My Nominations

https://narysunku.wordpress.com/

https://suewhittles.wordpress.com/

https://phigella.com

http://dappledsky.com

http://jonamdall.com

My Questions (If you choose to accept them)

  1. Who’s your favourite artist?
  2. If you could eat your favourite food every day for the rest if your life what would it be?
  3. Which one of your posts make you feel happy?
  4. Do you believe in a deity?
  5. Cats or dogs ?
  6. Sea cruise or sky dive?
  7. Have you ever read a book all the way through without stopping? Which book was it?
  8. What is the best advice you’ve been given – on any subject?
  9. Science or Art (or both)?
  10. What makes you laugh?
  11. Poetry or prose?

 

Have a lovely day!