Tag: imposter syndrome

I don’t know

Posted on Posted in Memories, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , 6 Comments

Why do you blog?

I seem to have a lot to say, opinions, thoughts. I’ve recently joined a local writers group. I guess I think my words are worth reading? But that’s just my opinion. I may be boring, I might be showing off.

I have suffered imposter syndrome in the past when I was working. I think blogging helps me feel a little bit validated. Having somewhere to share my thoughts and ideas, to share my art. Something to be remembered by. So that I have an existence outside of these four walls.

I recently looked for family details on the Internet. I am mentioned lots of times because I use lots of social media. But the family? Not much detail. Because their lives were mainly pre Internet…

I still keep on blogging..

Quite often

Posted on Posted in Memories, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Tell us about a time when you felt out of place.

Where am I?

I was a child and because my eyes were bad I couldn’t see where my parents were on a big beach. So I got lost, but luckily someone found me and I got back to my family. Then they found out I was short sighted, so I ended up with glasses.

Later I got lost trying to map read while my mom drove. I wasn’t very good at it, so we took the right road, but headed south not north. Eventually I realised I had gone wrong and we found our way home. After that I studied maps (on paper), so I knew where I was.

But feeling out of place can also be emotional. I used to do an important job and did it well, but I didn’t fit in with other staff members because they thought I was too soft with our customers. I started to feel very out of place. I think I suffered from imposter syndrome. I second guessed myself all the time, thinking I would get caught out for doing things wrong.

I’m glad I’m out of it. I want to feel I have a real place to be,

I’m a follower

Posted on Posted in UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

Do you see yourself as a leader?

You’ll find me at the back of a crowd. My legs are little and I can’t keep up with big people’s strides. I’ve never been a leader, I think my imposter syndrome stops me thinking I could be! I’ve never been massively confident and I always question my abilities, plus to be a leader you have to have charisma and I not sure I do.

A leader seems to have overwhelming faith in themselves and I don’t know if I could do that, it almost feels like leaders fool themselves into it. Or are bought up to be important and think they are the best.

I guess my view is quite negative, but considering how politicians act and deceive to get power then it must be understandable. Clearly there are other types of leader, religious, royal, a head of a company for instance, I’m sure there is good amongst them, but there also appears to be a ruthless streak. Maybe it’s from childhood sibling rivalry, or being an only child.

Finally would I like to be a leader? Maybe I could do it, I’ve chaired meetings in the past, but honestly? I’m old enough not to relish it.

Art competition

Posted on Posted in Fine Art, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , , , , 7 Comments

Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?

So many times I have missed deadlines for art competitions. I somehow freeze and lose confidence.

I think it stems from a college tutor who told me I would do badly and not get a good degree. I believed him and when I was successful I still questioned my validity. I come from a working class home and I didn’t have the self confidence to dismiss his opinion. I took three years to get over it and forever after I have felt some degree of imposter syndrome. I was once asked as l local artist to judge an art competition. It was so hard, I didn’t know what to do, whether I would disappoint people. The result was announced and I think people were pleased with my choice, but I felt great guilt!

It’s hard to think that those few words my tutor spoke forty years ago, sank deep into my heart. What would I be doing if I hadn’t listened to his poisoned words. I wish I knew then what I do now.