Green gone!

My neighbours are fencing off the alleyway which is good because it will stop people getting in through the hedge, but they bought a digger in and grubbed up even more of the hedge. It’s near where my hubby wanted his ashes scattering. I couldn’t argue, I just stayed polite, the builder didn’t care or understand. But when things are sorted I will plant the spikiest holly and pyrocantha hedge that I can!

The builder said “your hedge is over the boundary line” I replied “this was my hedge for over twenty years, you are doing work for someone who literally just bought it”, he seemed to vaguely understand. I just hope he didn’t dig up any hedgehog nests!

Poison words

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

I used to be hurt when people said things to me to upset me. I would take on board what they said, and it could lead to several sleepless nights, or mistrusting my judgement or feelings.

After a few years of this I talked to a new friend who explained a way of getting through or over the uncaring words.

What they said was imagine the nasty words are poison. The words are absorbed by the victim (in this case me) and the poison works it’s way into the mind of the person they want to hurt. This affects that person’s confidence, thoughts, security.

But in the meantime the person doing the poisoning walks away scot free. With no effect on them, able to go and place poison elsewhere, spreading their cruelty and getting a rise out of others.

The trick is to realise what they are doing and train yourself to ignore their jibes. Inoculate your mind against their poison and learn to stop their tricks before they can get to you. It really does help.

Selfishness

What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?

Some people are selfish. I think its a bad trait. I don’t understand it. Why do they think it’s OK? I trying to get into their mindset. They might not have much themselves, so they have to scrimp and save. But others in the same situation might be more generous, partly because they have been bought up to share. I think children can struggle if there is not enough to go round, so they try and keep what they can to themselves…

Selfishness blankets a feeling of empathy. Stifles understanding other peoples needs. Gives an excuse not to be considerate. Selfishness, taken to extremes stops any thought of less well off people, making excuses when it’s obvious that help is needed. On today’s parlance scrolling past charities and blaming the poor for their situation, calling them undeserving.

Selfishness is unfair and can be cruel, uncaring and without merit.

People! Stupidity and lack of compassion.

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As I read social media, and the comments my friends make, I think how kind and good they are. And yet some of them are being bullied by eople in this country because they are not from here. They say things like the atmosphere has changed, and that they might leave and go back home!

This is I think part of the ‘hostile environment’ our country is perusing. Treating people like those from the Windrush generation as if they are second class citizens and deporting people only because of the colour of their skin!

Now with Covid19, it seems like they (right wing xenophobic people) have another excuse to bully incomers.

The world wasn’t split into countries by some infinite being. We are where we are mainly through luck. You don’t get to choose your place of birth.

I was bought up to think this country was caring, compassionate and fair. I don’t like the ugly way things are turning. I can say  “not in my name” but can I get people to revert back to some sense? I don’t know….

Sad

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There are so many sad things in the world today and sometimes they are overwhelming. We were singing quite a sad song at the music workshop today and one person could not join in. I think they were recently bereaved. Perhaps the song had special significance. I don’t know, but it made me think about love and loss, about how you can’t always know what’s going to happen next. It also made me feel sad about a relative whose situation has become difficult because they are spending a lot of time caring for someone else but are then neglecting themselves. Sometimes the burden that we put on ourselves can be debilitating.

Finally there are destitute people just in our neighbourhood, with no means of looking after themselves. The idea of austerity is wrong, no one should be put in a situation where they are homeless and hungry. This country has to ask itself why? Why don’t we care enough to turn things round? It’s easier to go out and buy things than give to charity, or pay a decent amount of tax to support those in need.

I’m not preaching, just thinking.

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