Almost the end

Short days, the candle is nearly out. Darkness floats by my eyes as I look into the garden. Cold wind and rain is making it chilly and damp. Memory tugs at my mind, pulling my mouth down at the corners. But I caught myself laughing a couple of times today.

Where will I be at the end of next year? Will I find the safety and solace I seek. Will I manage on my own. Decades of being a couple makes it difficult to predict. I’m trying to explain how I feel about things. I feel like I did when I left school after that being my whole life. The cliff edge is close, my hubby could climb down cliffs while I cowered at the top. I don’t like them. I want to be settled and secure. Oh well, we will see….

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11 thoughts on “Almost the end”

  1. I deeply share your feeling of melancholy, uncertainty, and even moments of unexpected joy during such significant life transitions. I truly hope that with each passing day, you find more moments of peace and relaxation. Wishing you strength and comfort as you embark on this journey towards a new sense of settledness and security.

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  2. I understand your feelings, Chris, but no one is safe and secure. We are stronger and more resilient than we know until we’re tried and then we often surprise ourselves. As the days lengthen I hope you’ll be able to rediscover your things in your life (choir, painting, studio) and see how formidable you really are. It won’t be the same and you’ll always miss him, but I’m sure that with all your gifts and sweet spirit it will be something wonderful. ❤️

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