My phone is full of photos and every so often I optimise them because the file sizes  are too big. But that always mixes the dates up, and this time many photos of my hubby showed up out of the thousands of images I have.

Cue deep greif again. My man was funny, eccentric, bombastic, able to express himself. He was emotional and sometimes irrational. But he supported me and we loved each other. He had a mad sense of humour and although he could get angry about things that was more about incidents in his life that had caused him to suffer from PTSD.

Each time I see his face I remember and I am upset again. Decades of life together has made our link so strong. I wish I could have him back, not just photos, but the reality.