I’ve bought you a present, said my hubby. I saw it and thought of you! How much did it cost? £5. OK, but we already have three teapots a coffee pot and a cafetiere….? But I wanted to buy you a present.

I got you a glass ornament too. A tree shaped thing with two colourful parrots on branches comes out of a bag. But the cats will break it! I found it a safe space.

I know I’ve got no taste, he said, but I wanted to show you I love you.

OK, thank you, I appreciate it. The coffee set will reside in the summerhouse. (With the spiders).