My friend needed help today, she is not from this city and she does not have many friends so I offered to help ring a company for her to help sort a problem out.

For repairs press 1

For heating press 2

For all other problems press 3.

Hello?

For central heating press 1

For coal fires press 2

For gas fires press 3.

Hello?

For carbon monoxide monitors press 1,

For flues press 2,

For chimneys press 3.

Hello?

For gas press 1

For electric press 2

For plasma press 3

What?

Ring, ring, ring, ring.

All of our assistants are busy

There will be at least a twenty minute wait.

Soft, gentle music……

Silence

Hello? Hello?

Hang up!