Tonight I went to choir, I was tired and had been to the doctors for tests, I was OK but it had wound me up. Singing helps calm my mind, helps me relax, and make me concentrate where usually in the day I’m struggling to.
When I got there I found that there was one soprano and several altos so I decided to have a go at some of the higher parts. I surprised and survived the experience. I’m really glad I tried, I stretched up to some top notes I’ve not managed before. In the end I got a bit of a sore throat but a lot of enjoyment. It also boosted my confidence. I think everyone should try singing.
Yes, OK, I do have reasonable confidence levels after years of lacking it. I think you do become more confident as you get older and more experienced. But (and there is always a sneaky but in there) it can easily be knocked because I sometimes over think things, and then worry and anxiety knock my confidence.
Why? At various times I’ve been bullied in my life, and that makes you question what you are doing. It’s hard to give a robust explanation if the person bullying you is your manager. Then the ability to think things through is an advantage, to realise that you haven’t got it wrong, but it can knock your confidence.
Another thing is the feeling of imposter syndrome. When you get a job and then wonder why you feel confused by how you actually got there? So many responsibilities, and I’m doing it? Having to think up reasons why someone can get permission to do one thing, or be denied another? Get it right and the feeling of elation can give your confidence a boost.
But writing? Looking back at this I’m confident I’ve used too many clichés! Oh to be young with all the massive confidence people have these days? No, I think expecting everything to be wonderful all the time is a mistake. We have to learn from them to grow more confident.
Mallaband-Brown 