Got up this morning and found an empty brie packet on the cupboard. It was like a crime scene with the brie kidnapped from the fridge and taken away. Silly I know! It’s just that I buy food for both of us and it’s annoying when it’s just eaten without leaving a bit for me.

I wanted to find something to write on to say ‘evidence’ to leave next to it. But it was five o’clock in the morning and I didn’t have the energy.

When I got up again it was gone, so the opportunity was lost…