I was once offered a job out of this area. The problem was that it would mean moving away from my then boyfriend, later hubby. It was a reasonably decent job, well paid, illustrating the canals in the West Midlands of England. I would be part of a project to map, illustrate and record details of the massive canal network in the area. I really wanted that job… But it was too much of an upheaval. My boyfriend would not be able to come with me and I was scared to lose him. So I sacrificed the opportunity, and truly, I think it was the right decision for me. X.
There are small and large sacrifices you make when you live with or marry someone. The marriage ceremony says a lot, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer…
After 40 or more years together you forget a lot of the sacrifices, you just have to try and get along, you do so much together. Things do spring to mind, but now they feel trivial. He had an offer to do a masters degree, I had an offer to move away and get a job in a distant city. What stopped us? Money mainly. We couldn’t afford to give up our jobs. We had to stick with what we were doing.
Life has its way of getting in the way of things. It’s not planned, it’s not a story with a happy ending (unless you are very lucky). It’s a series of compromises and accidents. Time can sometimes smooth things out, but not always.
Then as you get older you make more sacrifices. You can be selfish and decide you want everything your way, or just go along with the flow, become indifferent to your partner. Hopefully you find a way through and stick together. I don’t pretend to have answers, but you cope. I’d maybe have done more with my life, but I’m OK with what I am now and what I’ve got. Life is a path through the trees, you can’t see your destination. You just have to stay hopeful.
Mallaband-Brown 