How do I arrange transport to a hospital appointment?

Rang the doctors.. Ring 01……..

I rang 01…….this is not the right number, we don’t cover that area. Ring 02……

So I rang 02….for A dial 1, for B dial 2 for C dial 3 etc…

Selected 3…..yes we can help but we don’t transport people in the afternoon. Please try and rearrange your appointment.

What number do I ring? 04……

Rang 04……..for blah you need to ring 05……

Patience running out…

Rang 05……for blah press 1, for blah blah press 2….

Pressed 2, you are number 6 in the queue. We are extremely busy and it may take up to 45 minutes to answer your call, if you are on hold for longer than that you may be cut off….

You are number 3 in the queue…. You are number 1 in the queue.

Good afternoon, how can I help? My appointment is on Wednesday afternoon but transport don’t do late afternoon appointments as they might not be able to take me home.

OK let’s rearrange that. I have an appointment for eight weeks time?

I might be better by then.

I can offer you one tomorrow but transport might not be able to arrange things at short notice.

I’ll have the eight week one but I might not need transport by then.

Tried ringing transport 05…….

Ten minutes later… I’ll try in the morning!