You daft ‘aipath! What you doin’ collectin’ stones in yer at?

I wanted em fer th’garden. Twill make a nice dressin’ ont top of the pots.

Yer an owd idiot Mon! Yer ed’s full o’ gravel dust now don’t yer know?

Yer ed’ must be rattlin’ like an old stone path being walked on, yer numpty.

Oo you callin’ a numpty? If tha’dud na like me, why dids’t tha marry me?

Becowse I luved yer. An thays the  truth o’it.

Trying to write in some sort of dialect. Apologies for it.